Chapter 18

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Camryn, you're fine. I repeat this to myself as I stand up from the couch in pain. I think of the pain as just soreness and that thought makes it more bearable.

I slowly make my way to the kitchen and pore myself some water and grab my prescription painkillers from the counter. I pop two pills in my mouth and drink the entire cup of water.

I immediately feel a million times better, as if the pain never existed. I'm able to touch my stomach without feeling a thing. These pills are magic. I walk back to the couch with ease but realize I'd rather just go to sleep upstairs in my room. I gather my blankets off the couch and then there's a knock on the door.

"Trick or treat!" I hear little kids squeal at the front door. Shit! Did my parents even buy candy?

I search around the kitchen for treats but I can't find any. Instead I grab a box of pop tarts and open the door.

"Here you go!" I smile at the children. They can't be older than 9 and they all look adorable. There's a ghost, a power ranger, a princess, and a zombie. I hear a loud noise and see Colton pull up into his driveway. He stares at me and then quickly makes his way into the house.

I return my focus back on the kids.

I hand them each pop tarts and they look pleased. There's no way I can keep walking downstairs to give away my snacks so I turn off the porch light, signifying no ones home.

I wonder where Colton's been all day and I wonder if he went to school. I shake the thoughts of him out of my head and walk upstairs.

I open my room door and there he is. Wearing a black t-shirt and jeans, looking gorgeous. His visits in my room don't even surprise me anymore.

"Leave," I demand softly.

"No." His face is serious.

"Colton go away," I whine. I'm just trying to go to sleep.

"Not until you forgive me," he says, taking a step towards me. I instinctively step back and his face falls.

"I can't," I admit.

"Why not Camryn? Please, I feel like shit for what I put you through. Those days you were unconscious killed me. I realized you're the one I want to be with Cam, please believe that," he pleads. His words surprise me. This is the first time he's ever expressed his feelings like this to me.

"Colton, I just can't forget what you did, what you said. You said it meant nothing," I whisper, looking down. The memories of how I felt after he left flood my mind and I feel like crying.

"Are you in pain?" he asks and I look up confusedly.

"What?"

"Answer me."

"Physically no, I just took my medicine." Why am I telling him this?

Without hesitation, Colton steps to me and takes my face in his hands. He crushes his lips to mine. His kiss feels rushed and desperate. My mind wants to push him away, but my body responds differently.

At first I hesitate but then kiss him back harder. His hands move from my face to my back and he pulls me closer to him. I wrap my hands around his neck and pull him closer too. Our lips are crushing each other and our tongues are moving in perfect harmony.

This is the longest we've ever made out and I'm high off of his affection. He starts to walk back and he pulls me with him. We turn around, our lips still connected, and fall back onto my bed. He's laying on top of me and I'm thankful I don't feel any pain at all.

Colton's lips move from my mouth down to my neck, leaving kisses along the way. I'm out of breath and I am panting. Didn't I just say that I can't forgive him? What am I doing?

Who cares, this is the best I've felt in a long time and it's all thanks to Colton. Even though he is the reason for most of my pain, if he's able to take it away, I'll allow it.

His lips find his way back to my mouth, and his kiss is much slower than at first. It's so hot and feels amazing. This doesn't just seem like any kiss. This feels like a real kiss filled with want and need.

His hands start to move down my body and I panic. "Wait," I say. I don't know why I said it. What am I afraid of? This is just the first time I've ever done anything like this. I'm nervous.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, lifting his hands off my body. He rolls off of me and lays beside me on the bed, propped up on his elbow, looking down in me.

I cover my face with my hands in embarrassment, but Colton removes them.

"Don't hide from me," he says softly. I look up at him and let out a small laugh.

"I'm sorry, I'm such a loser," I say shaking my head.

"Why do you say that?" His face is serious.

"I just have no idea what I'm doing," I admit. "It's kind of... scary. I've never been with a boy like this before. It's embarrassing." I say looking down.

"Camryn look at me." I obey. His stare is soft and comforting. "You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about, okay? I like the fact that you haven't been with anybody else," he says.

I smile at his words and lean up and place a soft kiss on his lips. He smiles back at me.

He places his hand on my stomach softly and moves it down slowly to the hem of my shirt. He lifts my shirt up so my stitches on my stomach are showing.

"Does it hurt?" he asks quietly.

"Not right now," I answer. With that, he dips his head down and kisses my wounds. He kisses each of my 14 stitches and then pulls my shirt back down.

He wraps his arm around my waist and rest his head against mine. I shift my body so that we're facing each other, cuddling. I rest my head in the crook of his neck. I realize just how tired I really am.

"I really like you Camryn," he whispers.

A huge smile spreads across my face and I hold him a little tighter.

"See, was that so hard to say?" I laugh, and he joins me.

"I know, I'm sorry for being such a dick. I want you to be mine Camryn," he mutters.

"It's okay, and I am yours silly, that's all I ever wanted to be," I admit. It's true. I fell for Colton the first day I met him. Even though I never admitted it to myself, I know it was always what I truly wanted, and now I have it.

Despite the condition my body's in, I have never felt better about my life. Everything at this point in time is absolutely perfect.

"Are we going to school tomorrow?" Colton asks out of the blue.

"We?"

"If you're not going, I'm staying here with you," he smiles. He'd stay with me all day? Butterflies fill my stomach and that makes me really happy.

"No, I'm pretty sure my mom is going to make me stay home," I say.

"Okay, now get some rest," he yawns, pulling me closer to him. He's staying the night. At first I'm ecstatic, but what if my parents walk in, they'd kill me, then Colton.

It may be the painkillers, but for some reason, I don't care too much about getting caught at the moment. Right now I'm just going to enjoy sleeping next to the man who I like and who likes me back. I'm going to enjoy this.

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