Started With a Lie

Chapter Thirty-Three

            Pregnant.

            It’s starting to hit me how much of a big deal this is. If it’s true, if she’s telling the truth, what’s going to happen to Lee and I? Everything. Yes, Lee and I love each other but if there’s a baby, it won’t work out. Sometimes, love isn’t enough in life. Lee is a gentleman and would probably scamper off to Penny and stay by her side whether he loves her or not. He wouldn’t ditch her or the baby for me. They do have a strong connection like she said.

                    Does Lee even know?

                    I sit up immediately. Does he know? Would he hide that from me?

                Of course not….Right? I lay back down. There’s no way he wouldn’t tell me. Yes, no way. I need to trust Lee just like he trusts me with everything.

            Could I love a man with a pregnant fiance? Would I be stealing him away? The guilt is already crawling up my body, taking me into its captive. I can be mean and I can be a little tough but I can’t take a father away from his son or daughter. I know how hard it already is myself.

            I fall asleep thinking too hard and with one question in my head: Will I have to sacrifice Lee for the sake of another’s life? For Penny? For the unborn child?

❧

The next day, I get ready for school. It’s about time I do. Lee is still in Boston and hasn’t called or messaged. On the other hand, I haven’t either. Should I tell him what Penny’s told me? It’s a internal conflict but I know I’ll have to do the right thing and tell him eventually. In the morning, I pull on shorts and a t-shirt because the heat has been creeping up lately. It reminds me I have a future to worry about as much as my personal life as the summer nears and seasons change.

            “Do you, um, want cereal or something?” Brent is in the doorway of my room, his face looking nervous. Ever since I stalked off to my room and shut myself in there for the rest of the day yesterday, he’s been a little wary. He thinks its feminine problems and definitely does not want to get in the middle of that.

            I sigh, putting down the brush that I was using to comb my hair. “Brent, it’s fine. I’m back to normal. Cereal’s fine.” Lies, lies, lies. I’m not fine! I want to scream.

            He nods, grinning before he runs off downstairs.

            I look at myself in the mirror. There are dark circles under my eyes that I’ve tried concealing to the best of my ability. I fell asleep around noon yesterday and woke up around five and haven’t been able to sleep since. How could I sleep when I’m losing Lee? I want to go back to our twenty four hours of no worries.

            Downstairs, Brent is opening cabinets and looking under the sink. “Where is the damn cereal?” he mutters to himself. It’s all déjà vu.

            I roll my eyes at Brent’s horrible household skills. All he does is sleep and watch television and eat frequently. Then again, I do the same thing. I go past him and into the food pantry in the corner of the kitchen, pulling out Honey Bunch Cheerios. “Here it is,” I say, putting it on the counter.

        Brent smiles and takes it before grabbing a white bowl. I take a seat at the island trying to see how well he can do this before he fails. My predictions are verified when he spills half the cereal bag on the counter instead of the bowl. “Whoops,” he says, moving it to the bowl but it still manages to miss. He pours milk hastily and hands the bowl to me.