Guilt

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Authors Note:
If you guys have some suggestions, question  or comment about  the story so far you can comment me, i would love to hear feedback!



 
I didn't sleep that much that night. I was feeling horrible for what I was about to do but I have to protect Killian. Peter will kill him and I cant let that happen. It was morning now, I could tell by the footsteps on the deck above us. Killian stirred next to me before his eyes opened.
‘’morning’’he said
in his sexy morning voice which basically made my stomach swirl with butterfly's.
‘’morning’’I said with a soft smile. He sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes. He looked so cute.
‘’well we better get ready for the day. Im sure pan will make a appearance soon’’he said getting out of bed. Little did he know that peter already made one.
‘’why don’t we just lay in bed today. do nothing’’i suggested. I wanted it to be good for the remainder of the day.
‘’trust me rose that sounds like a great idea but I have a ship to run’’he said as he pulled his leather pants over his legs.
‘’so no cuddling?’’I pouted and he laughed.
‘’tonight’’he aid walking over to me and peaking my lips.
‘’besides I don’t want you to be coped up here all day. After yesterday im sure you need some fresh air’’
I nodded and stood up’’wait’’
He turned from the door and looked at me.’’yes love’’
‘’I want to give you something’’
I lifted my hands to my neck and unclasped the red gem-ed key that was around my neck. it wasn’t anything special just a necklace that I had on before I left my home, well was taken.
I took his hand and put the necklace in his hand.’’I want you to keep this’’
He looked at it before looking back at me.’’its yours’’
I smiled at him’’I know but I want you to keep it. to show you how much you mean to me’’
‘’awh love’’he said and kissed my forehead and sat down at his desk. I wanted him to have i,t to remember me.I walked to the chest across the room and pulled out a black silk shirt, a black coreset and some pants. i put the clothes on in the bathroom and i strapped my boots on. I took my hair from its brid and my hair fell in tight ringlets. I to the mirror that was handing up and looked at myself. I felt guilty and just horrible at the moment.  i walked out of the bathroom and i saw Killian was at his desk looking at some papers.
‘’Mr.jones would you please escort me to the main deck?’’I asked and he looked up at me and he smirked at me. I noticed the necklace was around his neck, next to his other one that we always wears.
‘’Ms. White it would be my pleasure’’
He got up and held out his arm which I took. I laughed and we walked up the stairs and to the main deck where the crew was cleaning and such. There wasn’t anything to do since we where docked in the middle of the neverland ocean. It was a beautiful day. The sun was out and there wasn’t a cloud on the sky. I wish that this beautiful day wouldn’t have to be ruined later.
 
 
 
Peters pov:
I was on a cliff with my scope watching as Roselina walked on the deck her arm wrapped around Hooks. She looked like a true pirate in those clothes and her hair in tight ringlets. Usually her curls are more wavy but when she braids her hair they turn to ringlets. Yes I know that and I feel like a loser to know that but I know her better than she knows herself. She looked up at hook with her beautiful choc late brown eyes and smiled. She looked at him with such infatuation and as did he. He kissed her head before running from her causing her to laugh and follow after him. It made he sick watching this. If I wasn’t trying to get her to trust and love me again I would have killed that pirate already for even thinking of touching my queen.
‘’when are you meeting her?’’Felix asked beside me.
‘’tonight. she is going to break his heart and he will leave and she will be back’’I said smirking lifting the scope from my face and i looked at Felix.
‘’our queen will be back?’’he asked and I grinned
‘’yes the queen of neverland comes back to her king tonight’’I said smirking
 
 
 Flashback:
My sward clashed with Austins. Peter was no where to be found and I was bored. After the whole thing with Adam im not aloud to do anything. I was surprised that peter even left the camp, even if it was on business. Austin had offered with practice sward fighting with me. I tried blocking but failed and the wooden sward's tip  was placed on my tiny stomach.
‘’got you’’he grinned and I glared at him.
‘’that’s not fair’’I said pushing the sword away from me.
Austin laughed’’how is that not fair queen rose’’
‘’because im not good at sword fighting and you are. I don’t think it was a fair fight’’I said smiling at him.
‘’come here I will show you how to hold the sword''
. I walked over to him and he put my arm up in a  blocking postion.
‘’you use this postion to block attacks. Now show me how to block’’he said bring his sword up and I put mine up and  he attacked me and I blocked the sward sending his flying.
‘’that’s it!’’he said grinning at me.
‘’whats going on?’’I heard behind me. I looked and saw peter who was glareing at Austin.
‘’Austin was just teaching me how to fight’’I said. Peter walked over to us and put his arm around my shoulders.
‘’im perfectly capable of teaching her to fight ,Austin’’he spat with venom in his voice.
‘’yes pan im sorry’’he said looking scared.
‘’you better be sorry. If I see you talking or even looking at her again I will rip your shadow from your body’’peter threatened.
‘’peter!’’I yelled taking his arm off of me and I stood in front of him. I put my hand on his chest.
‘’its okay peter im yours okay. Im your queen okay’’I said reassuring him that I didn’t want anyone else.
He looked form Austin and to me. He nodded and threw his arm around me before looking  at Austin one more time and i lead him away.
‘’I don’t want you anywhere him okay. I mean it’’peter said looking down at me.
‘’okay peter I get it.’’
We walked through the forest before stopping at our waterfall.N o one comes here the mermaids migrated years ago. This is the only place that me and peter can get peace. We sat down on the grass right infront of the lake. It was a beautiful meadow, when the flowers blossomed they were bright pink and white, as of right now they flowers were close to blooming but not there yer.
‘’im sorry that I have been so protective lately its just after this whole Adam thing I cant help it’’he said. I sat in between his legs and I rested my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, resting them on my stomach.
‘’I get it peter. you just don’t want me to get hurt’’
He kissed my head’’I love you so much you know that right’’
I nooded’’I know and I love you too’’
A tear ran down my face. I loved him more than anything but Im so scared of him.
 
 
 
Roselinas pov, Presnt:
The day consisted of Killian teaching me about the ship. He taught me a little about sailing and im sure that will come in handy. It was almost night time and me and  Killian where in his room. i was so nervous and scared for what I was about to do.
‘’Killian can I tell you something?’’I said my voice almost shaking. He looked at me and nodded
‘’what is it?''
I took a deep breath’’I don’t feel for you as you think I do’’I said
He looked at me shocked’’what did you just say?’’
He took a step closer to me and I was about to fall on the floor in sobs.
‘’I love peter and only peter. I just wanted to get him jealous’’I said regretting my words. His eyes flashed with pain but recovered and all I saw in those beautiful eyes was anger and hatred.
‘’your lieing’’he said
‘’I wish I was, but Im not’’I said
‘’get off my ship’’he said turning away from me.
‘’killian im sorry’’ i said desperately.
‘’don’t!’’he yelled turning back to me’’I want you off my ship now!’’
Tears came to my eyes and I ran out of the room, which was one of the hardest thing I ever had to do. I ran to the main deck. The crew wasn’t on the deck. I got onto a row boat that was tied to the ship. From the crew going to the island to get food earlier.  I rowed to the beach. I got out and i pushed the boat onto the sand.  I wiped my tears that fell down my face. Then I just broke down in sobs. I fell onto the soft sand and I put my face in my hands. Killain ment a lot to me but I had to do that. I had to break his heart it was the only way to save him.At the moment I relized I love killian, not as much as I loved peter but  defently loved killian.  I got up after sobbing and I wiped my face and I  slowly walked through the forest. The moon lighting the forest so it was easy to walk. I was in a familiar place. The camp was to the north of me and the lake was to the west of me. I walked west and I found the lake. The moon was lighting the lake. I looked and  saw peter was lookinga t the waterfall. I walked over to him and sat down.
‘’hey’’I said
‘’you did it?’’he asked looking at me
‘’I did’’ I said
‘’he just left’’peter said trying not to smile. I knew he was happy about this. I was his and only his.
‘’do you still love me?’’he asked
I looked into his green eyes. He had such hope in them, hope that I still loved him the way that he loved me.
‘’I still love you peter but I feel for Killian as well and im sorry but no matter what you do to keep us apart those feelings wont leave.’’
I said getting up. I didn’t want to talk about feelings right now because at the moment they where starting to turn numb.
‘’Roselina wait!’’he said before getting up and he grabbed my arm, making me look at him.
‘’if you love me why would you leave me?’’he asked
‘’Because you scared me peter!’’I yelled and his face fell. Hurt took over his features. Tears were running down my face. I didn’t even know I could cry this much in one night.
‘I never wanted to scare you rose. I was protecting you’’
‘’you whipped that boy in the middle of the camp. Made the other boys watch! Even the young ones! You threatened the lost boys. Yes you have always do things like that because you wanted to be in charge of them and keep them safe but peter I have never seen you mean it’’tears where now falling down my face’’you where so cruel to them. You weren't the peter that loved me and loved the island you snapped’’
‘’you  don’t know how I was before Roselina’’he hissed and I shook my head.
‘’no I don’t. I know some of it from what you have told me but what you described, what the other described, wasn’t this.   Even the lost boys have never seen you like this. I had to leave you because I was so scared that one day you would snap and not love me anymore. I was scared that you would kill us all’’I said sobbing now. Peters face softened and he took me in his arms. I hugged him back sobbing in his sholder.
‘’I will never stop loving you ever Rose,yes when the incedient happened I changed. I was so scared that you would get hurt and everyone else would so I became cruel. I  was worse than I ever was but I was doing it to protect you’’
I nodded and he kissed my head.
‘’I will do everything to make it up to you’’he said I looked at him and he wiped the tears from my face.
‘’can you take me back now’’I said. He nodded and took my hand and lead me back to camp. It was silent as we walked in the camp. The boys where all asleep in there tents. Peter lead me to our tent and I sat down on the bed and took off my boots, throwing them in a corner of the tent.
‘’you look like a  pirate and I don’t like it’’peter said eying my outfit.
‘’well I was on a pirate ship,  peter’’I said barely looking at him.  He was a monster and I couldn’t bare to think of the things he could do to everyone around him.I  walking over to my dresser and getting out a pink nightgown. I started unlacing my corset and it fell on the floor. I took my tunic and legging and I put the nightgown over my head. I threw my curls up in a pony tail and I grabbed a ribbon before tying it in my hair.
Peter had his clothes off and was in bed. I walked over and I layed down next to him.
‘’im sorry I had you hurt hook but I couldn’t bare seeing you with him any longer. You belong here with me and the boys. You arn't a pirate, you are the queen of neverland and you belong with me the king’’
 I put my head on the pillow and I faced the wall of the tent.
‘’goodnight peter’’
‘’goodnight rose’’
I closed my eyes for the first time in 24 hours. No matter how much I love Peter I couldn’t help but think of the pain I was causing Killian right now.A tear ran down my eye thinking of him. He meant so much to me and I cared for him deeply but now I hurt him and will never get to see him again.

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