Chapter Forty-Seven

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Hurt was an understatement. I felt betrayed and stupid. The fact that Tristan had put her hands on Nya was shocking, hurtful and scary, but the fact that she purposely didn't tell me about it was f-cking with me the most. She was going to keep it away from me for who knows how long. She only told me because how I reacted to Arden when she should've just told me from the get go. I get that she was scared of my reaction, but now I just felt like a dumbass. How did I leave a relationship with an abuser just to end up in another one? I wish she had told me from the get go, maybe that'd ease the pain, maybe I would've found a way to get around it but the way she lied just ruined it for me. I couldn't be in a relationship with somebody that lied about something so huge, especially not somebody who had an abusive past. It was too many red flags and they were all telling me to leave.

It wasn't easy. It hurt a lot actually. My heart was aching and I cried until tears couldn't even form in my eyes. I hated myself and her. All I wanted to do was be alone in my room, but I had photoshoots to do in the coming days. I went to them and tried my best to be professional and seem okay, but people kept asking me if I was alright. Angela was worried and pestering me about my mental state while my friends kept sending me encouraging texts since I didn't want to face anyone. It was humiliating being lied to like that, but it got easier. After three days, I was finally able to hold my head up high and attempt to have a good day.

Tristan sent me good morning texts that always got unanswered since the break up. They were always sweet telling me that she loved me, how she was sorry and how she hoped I was feeling better. For once, I didn't cry or throw my phone when I saw the notification of her text message. This time I took a deep breath and replied.

Good morning, honey. Every day my heart gets heavier without you. This sucks but I know it's my fault. Please take all the time that you need, but just know I love you and I really hope we can talk through this. Also, Marvel drew this for you yesterday. It's you and her eating pizza. Her teacher asked her to draw two things she liked. I guess she likes you and pizza? Lmfao. Anyways, have a good day, okay? I love you – Tristan 7:03 AM

Hey, Tris. Thanks for being patient. I'm ready to talk more about this. Just tell me when you can meet and tell Marvel her picture is beautiful. I really like her and pizza too – Leilani 9:27 AM

You can meet me at the gym now if you like – Tristan 9:30 AM

Be there in a few – Leilani 9:35 AM

I got ready and tried not think much about how the conversation would go. I tried not to think about scenarios of what if Tristan said this or did that. I wanted to go in with an open mind and I really hoped we left the conversation as satisfied as we could.

It was a bit nerve wrecking walking into the gym. I felt like all of Tristan's friends were staring me down as if I had did something wrong. I ignored them though and walked up to the receptionist desk to greet Kacey who gave me a sweet smile. It was nice to see that she wasn't giving me a mean mug. "Here to see Cash?"

"Yeah, she's in her office," I asked.

"Yeah, just go back. You know where it's at," Kacey said as she nodded her head towards the employees only door.

I gave her a small smile before walking past the desk and into the back of the gym. My stomach turned as I walked towards the door. Knocking on it made my knees buckle. "Come in," Tristan called out from the other side.

I twisted the door knob as I took a deep breath. When I walked into the office, Tristan stood up and gave me an awkward smile. "Hey," she said simply.

"Hi," I responded as the door shut behind me.

She pointed towards a chair in front of her desk. "You can sit down if you want," she said as she sat down. I walked over with my hands clasped together and sat across from her. She smiled as if everything was normal. She looked good as usual as if she wasn't losing any sleep, but at the same time I could tell she was hurting. "If you don't feel comfortable, we can go to the café down the street. It's no problem."

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