01.06.19

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haven't updated in a while, due to me mostly not doing any subliminals.

i shouldn't really do subliminals if i'm not going to bother doing them, but i'm really trying; it's just a lot has been going off.

but, i've realized that my lips look plumper to me somehow, and i feel skinner.

the other day i was round my friends house, and i was getting dressed to go home since we had a sleepover.
i then caught my stomach as i was lifting my top off in the mirror, it looked so flatter.

yes, i was stretching upwards, so i will look skinner, but usually when i do that, i can still see where the fat forms! so that's good! - even though i haven't been listening to them in a long time, it seems permanent..! of course..unless you eat unhealthy or go out if you diet or something..

another thing- when i start listening to subliminals again, i'm going to have to listen to a fuck tone of blockages things-

i just genuinely feel unhappy all the time again, yes i have depression, but everything has gotten somehow worse.

my sexuality has come back and questioned my ass, as well as family stuff that i rather not mention.

i feel like there's no happiness left for me. as if everyone's taken it and then left me behind to be the odd one out. do you get what i mean?

happiness will help me through this transition, i know it will. unfortunately, that's not going my way at the moment, but i'm trying.

my friend, has recently told me too, that she had depression. she came to me for advice due to me being stuck with it since in was 10 or so..
so i told her some advice.

but soon as i feel down and lonely, and feel like i'm trapped. i can't able myself to talk to someone about it.

my own parents don't even realize my mental health; because i don't talk to them. that's why i watch dan and phil, because i don't feel alone.

- i may have gotten off track, but due to me not having much to update, how about just let some things off my chest; even if you don't care, - which i'm pretty much you don't, it's still relieving. just that little bit.

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