Love And Lies

6 • Seth's best friend

I pick up my bag and leave the door shouting a "bye dad" to my dad. I walk towards Karen's house. Oh you thought I was gonna go to school with everything that's going on with me right now.

Uhhmmm, let me think.... No.

I walk into the house. Amara looks up from the couch and smiles faintly.
"Thought you were gonna go to school"

I slump on the couch beside her sighing. "I couldn't, even though my dad literally asked me out of the house to go to school" I said laying my head down.

"It's fine EM, you know you can stay here anytime, as long and long as you want " she smiled at me.

"Yeah". I see her furrow her eyebrows beside me.

"Are you okay Ella?"

I look over to her. "Uhmmmm...." I thought about telling her about Seth but I changed my mind and gave her a weak smile. " Yeah I'm fine"

"Where's Karen?" I ask looking around.

"She's still asleep. She was more wasted than I was" She said rolling her eyes

"Okay" I shrug. "Come on, let's get something to eat yeah?" She says standing while I stand too heading to the kitchen with her.

"I'm sorry for leaving you behind at the party yesterday, I was wasted. How did you get home?" She asked me.

I shrug. "I didn't, I slept over" she furrows her eyebrows before she gives me an uncertain smile
"Oh okay".

"And you, how did your get home?" I ask.

"It was Finn, he took me home, dunno how Karen got home" she shrugs

"Oh yeah? As in Finn, Seth's best friend?"

"Uhhmmm yeah"

I grin at her. "Someone has forgotten she has a boyfriend" I whine beside her. She smiled at me.

"Young lady I didn't forget, it was just a lift home and he offered. Nothing attached. I would never cheat on Richie okay?"

"Okay okay" I raised my hands and she grinned. 

I dig my hand into my hair and brush it with frustration, I wasn't happy, I couldn't believe I got drunk and had sex, all against my dad's plea. All against my fucking promise. I just want to break down and cry right now.

"Hey EM, are you okay? You look.... not okay" she blurted out, touching my shoulder.

"I smiled at her. "no EM, I don't want the fake smile. Talk to me, is everything okay?"

"Yeah A, everything's fine. It's just the hangover. I'm having a really bad headache" I assured her

"Okay, come take some pain relievers okay?" I nod at her smiling. And this is the only time she's serious, when she's acting like a mom to me.

-----

It was 2:40pm. The school's dismissal time. So I pick up my bag and head to my house. I open the door with the spare key in my bag. Dad wasn't back from work yet. I make my way to my most favorite appliance in the house.

The fridge

What? It always have food in it.

I take out a carton of milk and cereals and head to the counter. I pour the cereals into a bowl and open the carton of milk. My head is filled with nothing but two thoughts.

1) the best and painful way to murder Seth. (my stupid useless long time crush and now a boyfriend rapist)

and 2) what if dad gets to know i got drunk and had sex.

He won't know right? As far as I don't tell Karen and  Amara and Seth shuts his bloody mouth but after all he hasn't never talked to my dad so my secret is safe with me.

I pour the milk into the bowl of cereals and I lift a spoon to eat but simply just lost my appetite. The guilt won't let me, the thought that I thought Seth was a good guy was hovering through my mind, I knew my eyes were open when he was having sex with me but I knew he knew I was drunk, he shouldn't have taken advantage of me.

I felt the tears at the prick of my eyelids, I try to blink them away but it just waves down. It hasn't even been up to four days I and Seth got together and now he took advantage of me and took my virginity.

How am I even gonna explain this to anyone?

"Is my darling home?" I quickly wipe my tears and go to to the sitting room to meet my dad.

"Hey dad" I fake smiled.

He furrows his eyebrows. "Are you okay sweetie? You look pale" he touches my forehead.

"Yeah dad I'm fine" I smiled.

"Okay Ella come, let me make dinner" he grinned at me.

"No dad, no. I will just make dinner myself." I said shaking my head.

He just laughed. " I knew you were gonna say that"

I look over to him, feeling guilty for disobeying him. I felt like slapping myself hard on my face.