I had been doing some intense rehearsing for the school play for the last week a bit with Ethan. I tried to push aside all my thoughts about liking Ethan again, so I kept very quiet and only made minimal talk when I had to.
Tonight was the night of the performance The actual performance. I shuddered at the thought as a mix of fear and excitement spread over me. I think it was pretty much guaranteed that I would be performing. There had been no news of Liv whether she had gotten better or not, so it was all up to me to pull off the show along side of Ethan.
We coincidentally bumped into one another in the hallway. I was tempted to keep walking but he pulled me to a stop and he his grip was tight so I was unable to move. Ethan's hair today looked windswept like he had just gone for a long walk on the beach but his eyes remained the same as always; dark and mysterious. He suddenly loosened his grip once he noticed that I was looking at both our hand grazing against one another.
"You ready for tonight?" He asked keeping his voice low and quiet as though he didn't want to be heard or seen talking to me.
I swallowed before responding, "No, not really." I said as honestly as possible.
Ethan adjusted his school bag. "I'm sure you'll be fine after all those rehearsals plus we still have the final dress rehearsal today." He said trying to sound supportive.
"Yeah, yeah I guess." I nodded but that didn't stop the strange feeling in my stomach that was really beginning to ache. Nerves. They were bouncing around like crazy at the moment and I couldn't control them.
"I'll see you later on today." A smile grew on Ethan's face but then quickly vanished which made me wonder if I had just imagined it.
I missed seeing his warm, heart-felt smile that could light up New York City after dark. But I had to quickly dismiss the thought and try to focus more on all of my lines and the outcome of what would happen tonight.
On the outside to any person I probably looked moderately calm but on the inside I was freaking out and panicking! What if I forgot my lines? What if I stuffed up a scene in front of the whole school and all of the parents/teachers? I would be humiliated for the rest of my life at high school and would never be able to look at anyone in the face again.
Why did life have to be so cruel?
I arrived at my locker to get out my books for first period. The only good thing about today was that we got to miss out on half the classes so we could do the last bit of preparation for the school production, the dress rehearsals.
When I got to the science lab, Luke and Tayla had a seat reserved for me as always right at the back of the room. Science was always the same every lesson. We were either given worksheets or had to complete an experiment, but today it was just a worksheet.
Not that this didn't occur every lesson but today I just couldn't concentrate. My mind seemed to be in another place. I was too busy thinking about Romeo and Juliet, not the actual characters but the play. It was constantly circulating around my brain reminding me mainly about one thing, I had to kiss Ethan.
I didn't want to kiss Ethan. I didn't want to feel that same feeling that made my body radiate with warmth and happiness when he used to kiss me which may sound strange but I just knew that deep down I could never have Ethan again. That was the past. I needed a slap right across the face to remind me that we were in the present now and that there was no turning back.
"Jamie stop thinking about the play." Tayla nudged me, reading my exact thoughts. Tayla always seemed to know what I was thinking of which kind of scared me because one day if I ever had this massive secret that I didn't want anyone to know I bet Tayla would only need one glance at me to know exactly what I was thinking.