I shouldn't love you but I want too,
I just can't turn away...
I shouldn't see you but I can't move,
I can't look away...
I don't know what to do. I have her as my bestfriend but I never had her as my girl.
She had me as her friend and always be her secret boyfriend.
We've been bestfriends for years and I've been her secret lover in the same years of counting. Life is unfair. Destiny is just so playful, triggered me to be her best buddy but at the other side myself wanting her to be more than that.
"hoy par! bakit ngayon ka lang nagpakita?" she said while pointing her index finger on my face.
I was about to stand and go just to avoid her. I just want too. I need too.
"hep hep hep !!! where do you think you're going?!" she grabbed my arms. Amazona. -_-
I can't tell her the truth because I know it would be awkward for her.
I seated while looking from afar. She seated beside me, and I know she's already looking at me.
"umiiwas ka ba?" her tone looks serious.
I didn't speak.
"so you really don't want to talk about it."
I want to avoid her. I want to stop this feeling I've been controlling for years. I want this over.
But first I want to know what she wants to talk about. Then after, I'll tell mine. I'll tell her everything, tell her how much I loved her each day we've been together.
"talk about what?" I calmly asked back, and now I'm facing her.
Mysteriously she smiled.
I want to back off. She's killing me with her smile. I feel dead with her presence. She's totally a killer.
"wag ka na nga mag maang-maangan. par naman." then she cling on me.
I'm already tempted. But still I'm trying to control it because I respect her as my 'bestfriend'.. as the one I love and as a girl.
"stop clinging on me. your so annoying." I tried to hide, always my feelings for her.
"sus !!! arte mo par. gusto mo i-kiss pa kita eh." as she jokes. always been a joke on me.
stay away from me...
She's just a few inches away. From clinging on my arms up to now that she leans on my shoulders.
I don't want to look at her.
But I want too.
"hey ! back to the business." then she became serious again and I also back from lookin' afar. Thinking what she'll say.
I'm enjoying what we look right now. Kinikilig Ako. Tss.
"ayaw mo talaga pag-usapan par?" she asked while pointing my face.
"bakit di mo ko tinitignan?" she asked again, demanding for my gaze.
"should I ??? I'm still listening." coldly I told her.
"sandali, uupo muna ako ng matino." and then she move.
But I still took the opportunity to look at her. I might speak first.
"daanin ko na lang sa kanta, hindi ko rin kasi makayang sabihin sayo ng diretsuhan."
"Okay" then she sighed. preparing herself in singing.
She had a beautiful voice. I admit it. It was one of the things, reasons why I fall easily on her.
"And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not. 'Cause I don't know how to make the feeling stop." she stopped and stared straightly into my eyes.
I don't get it.
"Just so you know this feelings takin' control of me and I can't help it... I won't see her around, I can't let her win now. Thought you should know I tried my best to let go of you but I don't want too... Just gonna say it out before I go. Just so you know. Just so you know how much I care, I hide this feelings for you... Just so you know how much I love you. Goodbye."
then she leaved with tears in her eyes.
Just so she know... that I feel the same thing.
[My Third One Shot. Cliche huh? Pagbigyan. Pasensya na sa lyrics, mano-mano yan eh tsaka sa grammar.. nag try lang. Sa typo.. sorry sa errors kung meron man. Hope you'd like it :) -Lenggay]