Mix of Jokes

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What do you call expired milk?


Blonde and Yellow...

Friend: Oh, did you dye your hair blonde?

Me: No, I colored it with yellow crayon! -_-

Little Old lady....

Police: Where did you buy this car?

Person 1: From a little old lady.

Police: I'm sorry, sir, but this car was reported stolen. I'm afraid I have to take you down town.

Person 1: WAIT! I can describe the little old last that sold me the car!

Police: Okay, describe what this lady looked like.

Person 1: Well, she was little....uhm, she was old....and she was a lady...Oh, and those eyes. I'll never be able to forget those eyes....There were two of them!

Person 2: *face palm* He's gonna go to jail! -_-

Dora the explorer....

A kid that had more freedom than I did....


The only girl that has long hair and hasn't tripped on it, not even once!

Once something gets "Tangled" into her hair....say good bye to it forever.


A professional barber that is blind goes to his costumer's house to cut his hair.

The barber touches the man's hair and compliments, "Oh, you have very long hair, young lady!"

The guy gets annoyed with the barber for mistaking his gender and says, "I'm a guy!"

The barbers turns upset and thinks of an idea to check if the customer was lying.

So, he removed his hand from the customer's hair and went down from his face, to his neck, and grabbed that area.....

"Oh, you are DEFINITELY a man!" Says the barber.

The real Mutt...

Zachary was walking in the park and sees that his ex-girlfriend, the girl that dumped him, was sitting in on a bench with another guy.

Zach walked towards them and saw that Anna's dog; Scruffy was sitting in between them.

Zach: Hello, Anna!

Anna: Uhm, hi, Zach...

Zack: EWW, Anna! WHAT IS THAT UGLY AND DISGUSTING MUTT'S NAME? But, why is Scruffy here?

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