12. I think I need a pencil case or something, because wow.

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          12. ANONYMOUS

I’ve already explained how I found out about the notes. I’ve already explained who the very first suspect was. My teacher had assumed it was Tuffy, and that was the end of the story for her.

But the thing was, there was absolutely no proof.

In fact, Tuffy even said that her printer wasn’t working in the first place. And of course I was a little skeptical of the excuse, but then I remembered all the times Tuffy came in with a hand-written paper four pages long instead of a printed paper of only two pages. And I remembered her telling me her printer wasn’t working, since, like, last year.

So she couldn’t have printed out a note.

Unless she went to the library. But, come on, this was Tuffy we were talking about. Going to a library? Not a chance.

Unless they were playing some kind of reggae music. Then she’d show up.

But the fact of the matter was, no one actually knew who’d written it. All we knew was who it was written to. Anonymous.

And I guess since we’re talking about her now, we shouldn’t call her Anonymous anymore. Let’s call her Comica.

Because this girl is probably the funniest girl ever.

Okay, not really. But she is really funny.

She’s crazy, and she’s funny, and she’s a really cool person.

The only thing that really got her into this mess is her attitude. Because her and Jerko are technically the same person.

Except. You know. One is female and the other is male, so technically they can’t be the same person, and technically one of them has more hair than the other, and one is taller, and I think one of them is a different religion—

Not the point.

The point is, her attitude and judgmental personality prevented people from being friends with her. It was like one of those popularity scenes you see in the movies and TV shows. Girl comes in as regular student, girl forms best friends—which usually are only two or three people—and then girl and her best friends become the most judgmental people you have ever met in your life, ultimately rising them to the status of the “popular clique”.

But even though they seem like terrible people, you kind of want to be friends with them too because they just seem like they have a lot of fun and you want to hear some juicy secrets so you sneak behind them with a chainsaw and start another massacre until they—

Okay, that last part doesn’t happen.


But if it happened to occur in my class, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Anything beats listening to our science teacher explain her life story to us every day, and how she used to practically be a saint, and how her grandkids grew up drinking milk, and how she used to live on a farm, and that pizza is a healthy snack.

Because there are so many things I have to say about that paragraph, but I just—I—oh my goodness. I just cannot get over the pizza thing.

Every time we have a conversation, this woman is all:

“So yes, water evaporation occurs during the water cycle, and afterwards is condensation, which leads to precipitation and did you know pizza is a healthy snack?”

Meanwhile the entire class is starving because today is hot-lunch day, and we can smell the food from the cafeteria, and she’s sitting there eating a donut and drinking iced coffee in the front of the classroom as the kids in the front row bang their heads against their desks repeatedly.

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