chapter 2

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have you ever had one of those really bad nightmeres that make you pinch yourself just to try and wake yourself up?..........thats me now! im in one huge fuckin nightmere exept it doesnt matter how much I pinch myself, I cant escape!!

its been 3 days since my life was pushed into this black hole of hell, 3 days since the life I once new and loved vanished.

I cant remember what those police officere said I can only remembe them saying little bits and pieces, just some words jumping out at me. accident.........killed.......dead!!!

my whole family.............gone!!

and all I want is to be with them, I want to be with them so badly it hurts. I want my dad to put his protective arms around me, I want my mom to say "dont worry sweetie, everythin will be fine!" and I even want my little brother to annoy the hell out of me!

so here I am 3 days later sat on the bed in the spare roon in jades house with a untouched tray of food sat on my lap. I was brought here by the police officers seems as i dont have any family close by, I only have my aunt and uncle who live in L.A with my three cousins and im told that arrangements are being made so that I can go and stay with them after the funeral.

but I dont want to, I want my old life back!

and with that I finally cry, I cry so hard the whole household could probably hear my painful whales! thats when I feel a presence come through the door, they dont speak, just wrap their arms round me and lets me cry.

The person smells like a guy so I guess its probably Justin (jades really cute brother) whos always looked out for me, hes average hight with durty blond hair and big dimples when he smiles

Anyway after what feels like hours my cryes start to turn into low sobs and pure exhaustion starts to wash over me and I can feel my eyelids become heavy as the person gently pulls back the covers, removes the tray of food and pulls the covers over me befor placing a kiss on my head and the last thing I hear is the sound of the bedroom door closing befor I drift off into a blissful darkness.


its the day after the second worst day of me life... (the funeral!)

Im still staying at jades, my aunt sarah and uncle phill flown over from america to attend the funeral (wich by the way was just as awful as you could have imagined) looking at my aunt she reminds me of my mom! Only a little in looks but she has the same kind and loving nature! She makes me feel safe just like mom did.

They decided to check into a hotel because they didnt think it would be right to stay at our house..............fair enough!

I grab my car keys and head out of the door quickly before anyone can protest, if they seen me they would probably try and stop me from going out alone but im so fucking sick of people treating me like im made of glass and am about to shatter any minute, Its really pissin me off!.......I need space and time to think.

Im not really sure were im going and im not really paying attention but when I finally stop the car I see im parked in a very familiar home! Exept it doesnt feel right, it doesnt feel the same.

I look up at the house to see everythings changed, it looks empty! the lovely curtans my mom spent like 3 weeks obsessively trying to find (because of course they had to perfectly match the furniture) have been took down and their are men rushing round with boxes of stuff....our stuff, trying to get it all packed away. It doesnt look right. I have to leave.

I jump in my car feeling lost, lonely and like I havent got a place in the world.

Well the world can go fuck itself!!.....

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