I woke up early this Friday morning to the singing of birds and rustling of leaves scratching on the tin roof. I’m alive, I made it to see another day, I think to my self- how lucky am I?
I roll over and face the grunts of my boyfriend cursing me on my chipperness. “Good Morning, I whisper”, only to receive a grunt, groan and fart. Its winter and I am feeling blue, but whats new? No, I am not really depressed, I just think I am. Its all that chatter in ones own head that makes them believe they are depressed, when really they are over analyzing every little intricate detail of their life. I decide to put on my robe and skip down stairs. Today is going to be a magnificent day, I affirm with my self as I look outwards to the blue sky and crisp July weather. What possibly could go wrong?
Right! time to stop moping and get on with this great day. Lets go for a bicycle ride to the ocean, I think to my self. I quickly get ready and in 10 minutes am out the door. I fire charlie up by pumping her tyres up and ride away like a free bird. Gosh I love riding and realize this more as I am feeling the air and smelling the abundance of fragrances that surround me. I pull up at my favourite coffee shop and order a coffee and a raspberry brownie – here’s to happiness and calmness I think to my self. I savor this moment.
On the ride back I see a police officer on the opposite side of the road writing out someone a ticket, so I decide to gracefully jump off my bike and casually walk it down the footpath and cross the road, as I am ‘not wearing a helmet’. Of course this is perfectly acceptable in Europe where they do not have helmet laws, but not here in Australia, because if you fall off your bike it is assumed that you will fall directly on your head and the helmet will save your life. As I pass the officer he makes a remark “Its a nice day to be walking your bike, isn’t it miss?, I expect you’ll be walking it all the way to your destination”. This was the very moment that I thought (in my head) fuck you and your controlling rules Mr officer and smiled. I continued to walk my bike down the road and cross over a busy road. Once i felt completely out of range I jumped on my beloved charlie and started pounding the pedals as fast as my little legs could take me. Of course in hindsight this is where i wish i could press the reverse button but then i wouldn’t have a story.
I have reached the underpass by now still pedaling in what i think is out of range until I hear a honk. I turn around in slow motion to see my friend the police officer waving at me. I get off my bike and freeze like I have committed the worst possible crime and he is going to handcuff me and send me to jail. Once he approaches me he in his police officer voice says “Do you remember our earlier discussion?”, when I say “Yes, but due to the bad timing of needing to go to toilet, I was rushing home”. This is when I am pretty sure he is thinking to him self – I got you….
He says “I am going to have to write you out an infringement notice of the value of $113″. I respond with a polite “$113 dollars?, didn’t it use to be like $30?”. He does not look impressed, so I don’t even think the waterworks will get me out of this one. It is at this point that i realize there is another kinda water works operating – a warm something running down my leg. Oh no!!! – not here, not now in front of the police officer, please don’t let me be peeing my pants. Oh Lord, I am. Ok, I have finally succumbed to the worst possible kind of embarrassment.
He walks back to his car with my licence in hand and takes a long time of what feels like an eternity but may have been only 10 minutes. I am pretty sure whilst he is at his car he is looking up my colorful record which at this present time isn’t too flash. Well 3 speeding tickets in the last two weeks, not bad really! Who am I kidding? I am criminal. As I wait patiently at my bike in this quite suburb for the police man to return, I think why is this happening to me? for crying out loud I am 33 and should know better and I to top it off I have wet my self. Perhaps I was just trying to bend the boundaries as I always do and this time the boundary snapped.
Later that day I reflected on my what happened and decided perhaps its a good thing that it played out the way it did, I laugh about it now and yes I have reunited with my beloved helmet.