f o u r t e e n

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almost 2k reads what the fuck i love all of you

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Luke's head swirled, blacking out his vision eventually. He closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head, trying to shake the feeling off. He opened his eyes and sat up, carefully removing the sleeping boy off him.

He looked at Ashton, his dried up tears trailing down his cheeks. He took in his features just like the first time he took him home. That first touch to the skin, the moment he knew that Ashton was worth something. He ran his hands through Ashton's caramel coloured hair, fisting it lightly and scratching his scalp careful not to wake him up. The younger boy stirred, shifting in position.

Luke smiled. It was like a series of events happening over again. Just a different time and place and with little alterations. He lifted himself off the bed carefully and walked to the bathroom. He faced the mirror, looking at his reflection. His icy blue eyes looked back at him, those same eyes years ago.

***

Luke held Liz in his arms, the lady's tear-stained face evident in the moonlight. She had diarranged hair sprawled all over, Luke reaching up and tucked a strand behind her ear. It didn't help much and she still looked like a mess but she looked beautiful to Luke anyways.

"Hey mum.." Luke whispered, shaking Liz lightly. She stirred looking up at Luke smiling. "You wanna see the stars mum?" Luke said still speaking softly. "Look up." Liz looked up as Luke slowly reached behind him drawing a knife.

"You know Luke, the world is actually beautiful." Liz started, barely speaking above a whisper. Luke smiled at her, bringing the knife closer. "But the world decieves you by that beauty until it ruins you. It ruins everything, everything beautiful. Look at you mum.. And you can't escape it, them. It'll drown you until the only way out you see is death."

Liz and Luke have been on their own since Luke was 3, his father leaving them with his two other brothers. Since then Liz was working a little bit too hard for her and Luke. Luke saw how his mother withered away just feed him because they weren't exactly that rich. They still had to pay rent and bills. Then Liz started to take up illegal jobs. All for the money they needed. all for Luke, she said.

Luke slowly started to think about it. Why his mother? She was wonderful. Why? Why did this have to happen to them? The world was cruel and his mother was too beautiful to be ruined by the world. It's not that deep of a reason, but you never really know how it feels. How it is to be experiencing all of it to be in the place to say how deep or shallow a reason is.

Liz drew in a deep breath, closing her eyes. "Will you make a way out for me then Luke?"

Luke nodded and stuck the knife against his mother's side, making Liz gasp. "Sh.." Luke said rocking her, as stuck the knife deeper. "M-maybe you s-should make a w-way out for others too..i-if you f-find another one l-like me." Luke has always been different but Liz never bothered about with it. She just let it be. Luke's mental balance was fragile, too fragile now but Liz didn't know this and her words are like poison slowly making it break.

***

"You know what mum? He liked the stars too like you did." Luke said, speaking to the empty place. He splashed his face with water, running his hands through his hair. He walked out and creeped up on the bed next to Ashton as he took the pillow, next to him. He hovered over Ashton placing the pillow over his head and pressed onto it.

Ashton squirmed, trying to get it off, still half asleep. But with Luke being the bigger one, he had no advantage as his hands gripped the pillow case, clawing at it. He slowly stopped moving, his arms going limp at his sides and his chest deflating.

Luke took the pillow from Ashton's face and set it aside. He straddled Ashton and reached up to push his hair back revealing his face. He almost looked like he was sleeping except for his unmoving chest.

Luke pressed a light kiss on his lips as he got off and exited the room. He took a look back as he turned the knob and stepping outside.

"Now you wont have to worry about me, Calum or even eating anymore, babe." Luke smiled as he slowly closed the door behind him. "I love you."

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iM GOING TO COLLEGE SJDCNJASDCNAJNCSDJN IM FINALLY GETTING OUT OF THIS DEADBEAT TOWN ;) (see what i did there? no? okay bye)

 

 ☾ loren grace ☽

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