Every day, I receive hundreds of emails, all along the same lines.
"I'm head over heels in love with this guy. I'd do anything for him. He's my world. I'd give my life in a heartbeat to make him happy. The trouble is, he doesn't feel the same way. He's becoming distant. He's even said he doesn't think he can be with me anymore. What can I do to get him back? I can't stand the thought of being without him. It's breaking my heart!"
And this is just one, although I recieve many of the same type of email. Every day there are women pining for men who don't feel the same way. Every day I have women begging me to help them take a man who isn't responding to them romantically, and make him suddenly love her.
Ladies, I'm pleading with you to stop chasing men who don't share your romantic feelings. Why would you want to waste your time with a man who's telling you he doesn't feel the same way as you?
I speak to so many beautiful, amazing women who are so desperately hung up on one guy who doesn't feel the same. It breaks my heart. Why does it break my heart? There are three main reasons. I'll explain all three right now.
1. You Can't Change His Mind.
If a man has told you outright, he doesn't feel romantically towards you, there's no point trying to change his mind. The days, weeks or months you waste trying to make him feel differently, you can never get back.
If he's told you he doesn't feel the same way, or isn't prepared to commit to you, he's made up his mind. No amount of pleading, begging or crying is going to change his mind. Even if he does cave in, chances are he'll be doing it because he feels guilty and I guarantee it won't end well. He'll soon realize how he feels. Then he'll be off again, leaving you in a mess. Love has to be authentic and organic. If he has to force his feelings for you, they won't be genuine. That isn't a good basis for a long-term relationship.
2. It's Going To Destroy Your Self-Esteem.
Think about what happens to a child or a dog when you tease them with a toy and don't let them catch it. Eventually, they lose heart and give up. They'll get frustrated and feel bad about themselves. When you spend your time chasing a man who doesn't feel the same way as you, you're destroying your self-esteem. You're basically begging for him to love you.
What you're telling yourself sub-consciously is that you're not good enough or that you're not worthy of him. And we both know that isn't true!
I speak to so many women who struggle with self-esteem or confidence issues because of what some guy did to them. I hate it. Never let a man dictate how you feel about yourself. Never rely on a man to validate you. Never think you need the affection of a man before you're a worthy woman.
Every single one of you is beautiful, desirable and worthy in every way, shape and form. That brings me to the third point.
3. There's A Guy Out There Who's CRAZY About You!
In fact, there are tens of thousands of others guys out there who would give their right arm to be with you. I know because I coach them. There are some amazing, confident, attractive and well put-together men out there, who crave nothing more than a girlfriend. Why on earth do you want to chase a man who doesn't want you, when there are so many amazing men who do?
You're so much better than that. If a man isn't interested in you, move on without him. I'm sorry if you're suffering. This sounds rough on you. I just can't stand to see great women feeling so bad when there's really no need to.
If a guy tells you he doesn't want to commit or can't give you what you want, don't try to change his mind. Even if you're convinced he's your perfect man or Disney prince. I want you to be strong and to let him go. If he was the right man for you, he'd feel the same way you do and you'd ride off into the sunset together.
Don't be afraid of being on your own. It doesn't matter how long it takes you to find a man you connect with. It's far better to be on your own a while than to be with someone who doesn't deserve your love. I promise you, there is a man out there for you who will love you exactly how you need to him to love you.
There's a man out there who will love and adore you just the same way as you do him. There's a man out there right now, probably writing me an email begging me to help him find a woman like you.
Until you stop chasing the wrong guys, you're not going to catch the right guys! They're right under your nose when you start looking around you!