Lilith's Journal

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Lilith and Jasmine camped out along the outskirts of Shuruppak for the night. Samael retreated into the shadows, unseen but watching. The rustle of the river soothed the weary travelers.

Above Lilith's head, millions of miles away, a sun system advanced directly toward her. Thousands of asteroids, planets, rocks, dust, and debris swirled violently closer. What was once only a speck had been growing larger every night until only the moon outshone its brightness.

Jasmine felt Lilith's anguish. Lilith faced the bright spot in the sky and spoke, "You don't have to destroy the whole planet because of me. Have I really been that bad, Father?"

Jasmine nuzzled Lilith. Though she had the power of speech, there was nothing to say. Her silent touch was the best comfort she could give her friend.

Lilith hugged Jasmine's warm neck. "I love you, Jasmine. I promise to get you through this. You just might be the only talking donkey in the entire universe, so I've got to protect you."

Jasmine saw through it all. Even when Lilith was most frightened, she put on a brave face and let others know she would be strong for them.

Jasmine wanted to return the favor. "Girl, we've got each other's back. I have no doubt I'm on the right team. Girl power!"

Lilith reached for her belongings and took inventory. She had given the Shamir to Na'amah, but she still had the bound journal Kishar had given her, the wood case that contained Azazel's magic mirror, her shiny Anunnaki knife, and the rolled up parchment that contained what was left of the key to deciphering Uzza's grimoire called the Me.

Lilith held the mirror up to her face. She spoke to her own reflection and wished she could see Azazel again. She wished she could see any face but her own.

"I am sorry to have failed you in oh so many ways, my love. Azazel? Are you in there?"

All was quiet. No magic. Her own face looked back in the mirror. The reflection of the stars behind her twinkled around her jet black hair. Lilith returned the mirror into the cedar carrying case and packed up her belongings.

Lilith patted Jasmine. "Why don't you come down here and I'll rest against your side."

"Okey-dokey," said the donkey. She folded up her legs and got down on the ground. Lilith lay on Jasmine's side and began writing in the journal Kishar had given her.

* * *

Once upon a time, I was born the only girl between Adam and God. I was a child learning about the world laid out for me. Everything was exciting and new. I worshipped the ground my Father walked on and created.

Then one day, Father told me that some of His creations were bad and that I was to stay away from them. I refused to believe it. How could anything He made be bad? There had to be something good in it because it came from Him.

The demon Azazel was good. He loved and understood me in ways Adam couldn't. He proved to me that the forbidden fruits were good. Knowledge of good and evil was good. Life was good.

Azazel showed me a whole world beyond Eden. I wanted to keep exploring. I needed to grow, but Father wanted to keep me a child of Eden always. It was an unusual burden. I needed time and space to think it through: to stay a perfect child in a perfect place or to grow from making mistakes and learning from them.

I did not have the time and space to think. I made my decision before a great wall was erected around Eden. I left.

I went in search for my love, Azazel, and found kinship among the fallen angels. Once I had my feet under me, the world had become a different place. Life passed me by. I was easily replaced. Another woman was born in Eden: Eve. I was no longer needed.

My family of fallen angels were outcasts. Through me a new breed was born known as the Nephilim. The angels threatened to kill a hundred of my children a day until I repented. Even then these babies of mine grew numerous. They were born small and rather sweet infants, but in time they grew to became huge monsters. Constantly defending themselves against the wrath of heaven, these creatures became aggressive and amassed great power. They became the tyrants, war lords, and kings of the land; each one a giant among men.

The Nephilim were immortal. They had divine blood, for their mother is the first woman of Eden and their fathers fallen angels born of heaven stock. Mortal man could not compete. They found themselves subjugated and enslaved.

The Nephilim took wives of women, who gave birth to mortal giants. Due to their vulnerability they became an even more ruthless and vicious lot. These giants proliferated to such extent that they spread upon many regions. The people called them different names depending on where they lived: the Rephaim, Gibborim, Anakim, and Emim.

God could not believe how out of control the race of fallen angels had become. The giants destroyed the blood line of God's work. God believed that the only way to cleanse the earth was to start over and purge the world of the unwanted blood line. My blood line. This is the book of the generations of Lilith.

* * *

Jasmine opened her sleepy eyes.

"What are you doing, Lilith?" she asked.

"I've decided to keep a journal. I write what I see, what I learn, what I discover... my thoughts, ideas. Writing makes me feel closer to my teacher, Uzza."

"I'm sorry about your friends being turned into stars, Lilith."

"Me, too, Jasmine."

Lilith looked up at the starlit sky.

"Life is strange." Lilith found herself whispering the words Shamdon used to say often. Lilith wondered which set of stars he was hanging in.

"It's hard to imagine that right now, up there, a star is coming to kill me, coming to kill us all. The fallen angels are imprisoned in constellations and our good friend Kishar is on a space ship toward the Planet Of The Crossing. Despite the danger that is upon us, it's oddly comforting to know that I have so many friends up there. Do you think they are looking down upon us, maybe even protecting us somehow?"

"You know they are, sweetheart. Someone up there loves you. Hey, there's an old gray donkey down here that loves you, too." Jasmine yawned. "But she's going to need her strength to keep up with y'all. C'mon little lady, let ole Jasmine get some shut eye."

Jasmine nuzzled into Lilith and the two fell asleep, safe and warm under the comfort of stars.

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