5th January 2019 All Rights Reserved
I stood there in the rain and watched as they drove away from here. The rain had been pounding down over me ever since I ran here when I heard about him leaving. The storm that was supposed to have come that morning had instead come that afternoon.
No one has known me like he does. Like he did. He was the only one who can see beyond the way I withold myself when things get so stressed for me that I recede into my mind until it is safe to come back out again.
Judah was usually there sitting beside me waiting for me to come back with a smile. He would also have a bottle of water and usually a sandwich. Half of which he would have eaten while waiting for me to come to my senses.
My senses. That is what the teachers all thought was wrong with me. They all thought that I lost my senses after having a hissy fit. But it was not like that. I couldn't help being the way that I was.
I was autistic. I didn't have Asbergers. But what I had was still on the autism spectrum and just as painful to experience when no one understood or helped me when I needed it. Not like Judah did anyway.
I have what they call and NOS autism. Not Otherwise Specified.
They can not pinpoint the exact type that I have. So they labelled me as being NOS Autsistic. It made life very painful and sometimes unbearable for me at times. Mostly during the day and especially when I am at school when no one really understood why I was the way I was.
The other kids don't understand and pick on me mercilessly whenever they get the opportunity. Kids can be nasty like that. Which was a lot. I didn't understand half of what they called me. But Judah did. He would sort them out when he was around when they started on me. Sometimes, I would have to run away from them all. But they would chase me.
So, I found that if I just stayed there and be quiet, they would eventually go away after a while.
One time, he punched a couple of boys in the face for calling me names. I didn't understand why they called me them. I didn't suffer from spasticity. I didn't even suffer from autism. It is not an illness of any kind that you can take a pill and fix it.
It is actually a condition that affects us in many ways. We might all not have the same symptoms. But we may share some of them. I have what they call ADHD which is Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
I also have OCD which is Obsessive Compulsive disorder and I have what they call Dyspraxia which hinders me being able to do and say things when my brain wants me to do something. I am not coordinated with my thoughts and my speech which is associated with it.
My biggest problem is that I learn differently than others do. I have found that I can think a problem through before even attempting to solve it first. It just makes sense to me to do it that way. It might be a little slower. But it works for me and I usually am right anyway with the answers I need.
Anyway, I have a couple of other things they say is wrong with me. But I can never understand why they think it is wrong. I feel okay with them. I can read and write. I can problem solve. I can look after myself. Just do not muck up my routine and we will all be fine. I like my routine that I have.
Break my routine and we won't be fine.
Today Judah and me usually go down to the creek and fish. We were always catching something. The first time I went with Judah, I didn't know what to expect that first time and I was upset with the change he made me have. But he showed me good how to do it. Fish that is.
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