"In my mind, unravelled
Like the lace of my corset, this is my
Naked" ~Sabrina Claudio ❃
Embracing the unknown and tackling something new can be very daunting.
seeking out new opportunities and welcoming the unknown into my life is also daunting, but Whatever area in my life is experiencing change, ill learn to embrace it. For some, change is exciting, but for others, it can be extremely unsettling and many aren't capable of adapting to new situations. I'm not sure where I fit yet.
My whole life's been a rollercoaster. I've pretty much been on my own since the age of 16. My mom passed away from the lung disorder called COPD.
My father was a heavy smoker, both my mother and I were exposed to secondhand smoke but I lived.
I wish it was me and not her, I wish I could tell her how much I loved and cared for her. I wish I wasn't such a rebel child, and gosh I wish she would have told me sooner. Perhaps I would have treated her differently in her last days.
The pain never fades nor goes away. The only thing I have left of her's is a box of stuff she left over, I'm 23 now and I still hadn't opened and seen what she left for me.
I fear the pain may be to much, all I want is an escape. My father never cared much for us, after my mom died he left me grieving by myself for his mistress, I could never forgive him.
I was only 16, how could someone be so cruel?
The only two people I could count on were Jennie and Rosy, We've been friends since middle school. After everything happened Jennie's mom took me in and treated me as her own. Truly I couldn't thank them enough. Jennie and Rosy always had my back whenever I need anything. A shoulder to cry on, a warm hug, food, girl talk, anything... I knew I could count on them.
Unfortunately things had changed a lot recently. Not with our friendship but with me. Where I'm at in life and where I want to go. California was no longer home for me, moving on has been long over do.
Here I feel trapped but I won't stand for it anymore. The girls wouldn't let me leave alone so recently Jennie, Rosy, and I made plans to move away. All of us wanted to go somewhere so different but somewhere where we could explore new things and languages.
For weeks the girls and I have been searching for jobs in Sicily. We still worked our asses off at our current jobs to have enough money for an apartment for the 3 of us. Technology was such a blessing, we put a down payment on our apartment and we found jobs just waiting for us.
Finally, I feel as if I can actually breathe now... enjoy the air I've been craving for long. I've never felt so free, light as a feather, and clear minded. Toxicity is all I've known, now finally I feel like I'm about to begin my journey of becoming the best me and loving myself.
✁ ✁ ✁ ✁
Today was the day, everything I've known my whole life.... I'm leaving it behind. I looked around my room and smiled, I was going to miss this place but I was on to better things with the people who had always been there for me.
I dragged my bags downstairs and Jennie came out her room doing the same. "Liv, Rosy is on her way, we gotta hurry" Jennie said rushing her bags downstairs. I could say we were all extremely excited, well almost everyone.
I stopped in the kitchen and smiled as I watch Hellen flip through photos of us. Love was all I felt for her. She was a single mom with Jennie before I came along and she took me in knowing It'd be hard. I appreciate her so much, the only thing I want to do is make her proud.
I walked over to Hellen and she smiled at me looking up. Her eyes were puffy and red, I could tell she had been crying all night. Words weren't needed, I just pulled her into a hug and we held each other for sometime.
She's like a mother to me, I'd miss her more then anything, Hellen was my hero, she saved me and I couldn't be more thankful for her.
I hadn't realized but tears were falling down my cheeks. Hellen pulled away and frowned before wiping my tears.
"I love you Olivia. I know you'll do great things, make me proud my love" Hellen said before pulling me into another hug. The tears kept flowing I couldn't help it anymore... I was going to miss my second mother more then anything.
Jennie came down with the rest of her stuff and ran into our arms for a group hug. The last moments with us all together. I knew I needed to give Hellen and Jennie and moment so I excused myself, in the mean time I dragged our bags outside. A short time later A taxi pulled up, Rosy stuck her head out the window and laughed. Gosh she's had such a happy spirit. Rosy came and helped me taking the bags to the car and soon later Hellen and Jennie came out to help. Hellen pulled us all in for one last group hug, even tho I wanted to cry I didn't, no more tears, I was going to be happy.
"Are you guys sure you got everything" Hellen said while helping us pack the taxi with huge bags.
Something was missing... I feel it. I searched around for the box. I mentally thanked Hellen and ran into the house. I grabbed the small box my mother left behind and turned to walk out. The house felt so empty right now. Tears threatened to escape but I wouldn't let them.
I ran my fingers past the walls and let the memories shoot through me. Everything here held a special moment, Hell even the new flooring. Hellen would be so upset me and Jennie kept running over her new hard wood floors. I smiled and took one last look around. It felt so surreal but Even though this will always be home...
◜It's time to go◞
Honking from the taxi van snapped me out of my daze. I grabbed the light box and carried it out to the taxi. Hellen wiped her cheeks to rid them of the tears. My heart was breaking for her... for all of us but still... we all needed this.
After settling in, the Taxi pulled away from the house slowly. The home I once knew was now far from my view.
This is goodbye but also hello.
❃ ❃ ❃
『 This is Olivia Jade 』
YOU ARE READING
Olivia had a hard life growing up, she lost both of her parents at the age of 16. With the support of her friends, a small part of the void Olivia felt was filled. After making a drastic move from California to Sicily with her friends, Olivia looke...