Two ghosts // Narry

46- 3 am

Niall Horan

I still don't trust him, I don't trust him being this close to me and I don't trust myself for giving him opportunities to hurt me.

But I look into his green eyes, his stupid fucking green eyes and I remember what it felt like to fall in love with him, what it felt like to drive in his black muscle car with Ed Sheehan playing on the radio. What it felt like when a rush of adrenaline would course through my body the minute that straighter-than-a-ruler Harry would press his lips onto mine.

I miss his parties, although I would end up hurt or crying or stuck, he would somehow confront me, make problems for me, but I also craved those times with him.

Those fucking green eyes.

I slowly unpack another box and place dishes into the empty cupboards. When i look around i can only think about how This is not where I imagined to be having children. I didn't expect to be pregnant in a small apartment with my unfaithful... person in the bedroom sleeping.

I miss when we were young and free and Cheryl was my only problem.

Now it seems as if my problems are never ending.

I bend down and pick up another stack of plates when my finger slips. I watch as the plates fall onto the floor and smash into a million shards.

I don't hear anything. I just watch the shards on the floor when my cheeks feel wet. My heart feels tight and I feel nothing but loneliness until his toxic arms wrap around me.

"Are you okay? What happened?" He asks softly as his fingers brush through my hair.

"Nothing" i whisper as I close my eyes and rest my head on his chest. Remembering when things were easier and I had no reason to not trust this man.

______

It's three am when I wake up alone. I sit up in the bed and jump at the sight of Harry pacing the bedroom.

"What are you doing?" I ask as he runs a hand through his hair.

"I love you." He says as he paces back and forth.

"I love you so much." He says again as I stand from the bed.

"You're scaring me." I whisper as he finally stops pacing.

"I'm sorry." He whispers before grabbing my hand.

"I love you." He says pulling me in. I rest my head on his chest hearing his heart beat.

"Let's go out." I say lifting my head from his chest.

"It's 3 am" he says softly as I grab his hand.

"We used to go out at 3 am all the time." I say softly As he rests his hand on my cheek.

"I'll Get some clothes on."I say as I look down at my bare legs.

"You don't need them, it won't be cold." He says with a smile as I remember what he's said to me before.

"Okay." I whisper as a smile creeps up on my face. Maybe we'll be okay.

I walk with him to the door grabbing his keys

_____

I laugh as Harry and I walk out of the seven eleven holding the largest slurpie cups with mixed flavours.

"I still don't see why you need every flavour" Harry comments as we get back into his car. I missed this car.

"Because they all taste good." I say as I sip the 8 layered mixture through the straw.

"I guess so." He says taking a sip before turning the radio on. I feel my eyes burn as the familiar song plays over the radio. Dive, the first Ed Sheehan song Harry and I ever listened to.

"Are you actually going to take over your dads company?" I ask quietly knowing that Harry was never too fond of settling down, let alone setting himself in an office work place as CEO

"I could give you and this kid everything with this job." He points out while stirring his slush into a brown colour.

"If you don't like it I can always pick up a job-"

"No, you won't. You're raising that kid, I'll fund it." He says making me frown.

"Harry, your dad did that too." I point out as Harry freezes.

"I know.. look, I don't know the first thing about children. I'll just fuck it up." He says as I reach out.

"You're doing great right now." I say softly as he pulls his hand out from under mine.

"Yeah that's now, just wait until the kid is actually here. I'll fuck it up. I'll make it hate me, I'll be to angry, not gentle, I'll be a terrible dad." He says before running his hand through his hair.

"That's the first time I've heard you say dad" I say softly as he looks down at his cup.

"Yeah. It scares the shit out of me."

"Me too." I add on before he thinks I'm comfortable with this. I'm struggling to cope with this.

Harry looks at me before resting his hand on the gear shift.

"I need a drink." He says softly as I feel my heart sink.

"Harr-"

"I'm not going to drink." He says before pulling onto the road.

"We're going home" he says before resting his hand on my bare thigh.

"Okay." I whisper looking at him as Ed Sheeran plays on low.

When we get back to the apartment I feel more tired than I usually do. I'm only one month into this pregnancy and I feel tired all of the time. It's terrible.

"I'm going to bed." I say softly as Harry grabs my hand as he slips his shoes off.

"Okay." He says before kissing my forehead and leaving me to walk back to the room.

I take one last look at him sit down on the couch and pull out a blank binder before I close the bedroom door and curl into the blankets on the bed.

I love him too.