I'm hiding in the training room. No one even saw me come home. Perhaps the ghoul is already asleep that he didn't hear me? Is he even home?
I don't even know how will I be able to sleep. I feel so unsafe. If only the two knew that the ghoul we're with isn't really Hyunjin then they might feel even worse than how I do? They're still humans despite being bold and on.
Laying on this bench makes me reminisce about when Hyunjin's still with us. That time when he was being trained to join the ghoul hunters. He was so cute getting his ass kicked.
The ghoul didn't quit the job. The boys said that he'd be really useful but he shouldn't reveal his identity to the company. He's a reckless ghoul so I asked him to stay away until he's exasperatedly needed. Fortunately, he obliged.
It's weird how he actually has feelings for me. Maybe it's because Hyunjin and him share one body and one heart that they could understand each other? Just like how my ghoul and I did? Wait, did we actually understand each other? If not then I wouldn't be having full control of myself, wouldn't I?
"You're too loud!" Someone suddenly groaned which made me shot up with wide eyes. Why didn't I feel nor hear anything?!
"Who's there!" I looked around with my keen, ghoul eyes but unfortunately, they didn't have night vision so I practically seem blind right now.
The light turned on. I wasn't prepared so again, I seemed even more blind as I shut my eyes tightly, scrunching my face along.
"Ghouls aren't that special it seems." The guy chuckled. That sassy tone! Minho!
"Since when were you here?" I opened my eyes slowly and fully opened them once I have adjusted to the light.
"After you left."
"You saw me leave?"
"Don't worry, I didn't tell them."
I sighed in relief and closed my eyes in process but opened them abruptly after then looked at Minho who's leaning on the wall beside the stairs. "Thank you."
"I'm not really the noisy type."
"You were before."
"That's not noisy."
"You're the one who's noisy. You kept sighing loudly that you were even able to wake me up from my sleep!" He scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest after retreating his hands from the pockets of his sweatpants.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were here," I fervently apologized. I bet he could even see the words 'I'm sorry' on my face right now.
"It's fine. Why aren't you in your own room?"
"Why are you not at your own house?" I retorted and smirked as I feel very accomplished with my response.
He laughed and kept his grin. He looked more of the Minho I met the first time. "I've got nothing else to say." I couldn't help but smile as well. Out of embarrassment, I looked down abruptly.
"It's been long since I've actually seen you and you had changed a lot. You're better like this. Maybe you're still having difficulties but you're getting the hang of it. You're making me betray my hatred towards ghouls," he suddenly said which made me feel even more embarrassed. I'm still not used to compliments even though I received a lot from Hyunjin– who's not here right now...
I miss him so fucking much.
"Hyunjin also changed but I prefer the old him."
I felt as if my heart literally jumped out of my chest due to his statement. Now and then, I just feel like I want to bawl my eyes out and vent out to someone about how much I miss Hyunjin and how suffocated I feel since I can't tell anyone but Jeongin, whom I don't see often, about the truth.
"You're crying? What– why?" He suddenly approached me and sat on the space beside me. He's staring at me intently with a worried expression on his face but I kept trying to hide my face. I don't really want anyone to see me like this. That part of me hasn't changed, at least. "Ya! Look at me would you?"
I didn't listen to him and just bury my face into my hands. It feels as if I suppressed this inside for so long. My heart is aching so much. It's like a hand is squeezing it tightly that I can't breathe.
Out of all people...why is he the one who's seeing me cry now?
I want to get rid of the pain but there's nothing I can do and that thought makes me feel even more suffocated.
"Jinwoo, breathe!" Minho demanded. He pulled me towards him and wrapped his arms comfortingly around my small frame. He started rubbing circles on my back which feels very much like how my mother used to do.
I cried into his shoulder, not caring about keeping a low profile anymore. I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly but I made sure to control my strength. I never knew I needed a hug this much, not until this moment.
This is weird but have you ever felt the desperate need to wrap your arms around someone? Just for comfort? That's what happened.
"Shh, it will be okay..." He soothingly whispered in my ear and started running his fingers my hair which felt even more comforting that I could just fall asleep in his arms right now.
Is this how it would feel like if I had a big brother?
"You'll be okay..." He whispered again. I buried my face into his neck and breathed in his scent. Unlike before, I can actually appreciate perfumes now and not just the aromatic smell of a meal.
It's getting more and more harder to breathe. My sobs aren't stopping nor are they faltering. They keep coming out as wails and my heart isn't calming down either.
Slowly, I'm starting to feel weaker and tired. My eyes are tired from crying and of course, I'm losing air.
Missing him is like trying to reach the star. I can't do anything about it and it kills me inside.
He's the milk brand I want to pair with my cereal which hasn't even been invented yet.
I can't do anything about it but feel grief.
I keep trying to scream, trying to convey my voice to him or my feelings but he's too far away.
I can't do anything...
"You can go to sleep...I'm here..." He whispered and at last, I did.
YOU ARE READING
Hush Now || Hwang HyunjinFanfiction
BOOK 1 & 2 (BOOK 3: WAKE UP) In a word full of mysteries and unusualness, if you're scared, you die. If you're weak, you die. If you're trying to fight what nature has given you, you die. So hush now and don't let them know. 31/03/19 #1 in stay #1...