Playlist: Zee Avi - Concrete Love, Ed Sheeran - Give Me Love
- Caspar's POV -
Frustrating. Joe was completely and utterly frustrating. After much contemplation, thought, and self debate I had finally reached the conclusion that Joe was simply frustrating. I had thought of many other words, such as infuriating, nerve-wracking, annoying, unreliable, confusing. All of them fit him, even if just a small way. But it was the word frustrating that really clicked for me.
I mean, the guy said he was in love with me, then forgot me, then searched for me, then was mad at me, forgave me, forgave me again, then tried to kill me? Oh, I realized I did leave out a big part though. I had told Joe I only wanted to be friends, and I kinda sorta maybe started pushing him away. Maybe that really did make him feel unwanted, because it was after that, that his eyes transformed lifelessly, and his entire personality changed.
After I had woken up, I must admit I was surprised. I remembered Joe's fingers grasped around my neck, before I passed out. I thought for sure, I'd wake up in a hospital, if I woke up at all. So I was surprised when I was in the hotel bed.
"Caspar!" Troye screamed, before leaping ontop of me.
"Ow," I groaned, but couldn't stop the smile that was tugging at the ends of my lips.
"Alright, alright." Tyler said. Troye could hear the jealously in Tyler's voice, and he lifted himself off of me.
I scanned the room, looking for one face is particular.
My eyes flickered to his fingers first. The fingers that almost robbed me of my life. My gaze went from his fingers, up to his hands, up to his arms, up to his shoulders, up to his face. I wanted to look into his eyes. But I feared what I might see. What if I saw the same lifeless eyes that tried to kill me?
"You're... You're awake."
As soon as I heard his voice I couldn't stop my eyes from directing themselves to his. I let out a breath of air I hadn't even realized I was holding in.
His eyes were his. The light blue color, bright and lively, with hints of green swirled around the iris. I wanted to keep staring. Keep just taking in the beautiful sight of his eyes. His eyes flashed with pain, they glazed over.
"I can't do this." He said, as he stumbled out the door.
"CASPAR! YOU'RE UP!" I heard Zoe squeal.
I was going to reply, but I felt my eyelids grow heavy. I was slowly welcoming the sleep that plagued me, until I completely succumbed to my mind's desire for a break.
When my eyes opened again, Zoe immediately said, "We need to talk."
I figured she had something really important to tell me. So she wanted to say it before I fall asleep again so she can get it off her chest.
I nodded, "What is it?" The mood in the room was so serious that chills raced up my spine. I saw them all sneak awkward glances at each other, before they all turned to Zoe.
"I don't know much, because Joe really didn't explain anything. But he said... Something about voices. Voices that he let take over. He didn't realize how evil the voices were because he used them as a way to escape his pain. He completely feels guilty and blames himself. The sad depressed and angry side of him created the voices. He must have been so hurt by you pushing him away that he wanted to show you how badly it hurt. How much pain he was feeling. But Caspar, even though he did create the voices. He is NOT the voices. That is not his true personality. Caspar please don't hate him. I know he may seem a little off, and you're the only one that can fix him."
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He Loves Me... Not? || Jaspar Fanfic (Caspar lee x Joe Sugg)Fanfiction
"Friends can cuddle, right?" I asked, inching closer to Joe. "Yeah." Joe said, opening one eye adorably to look at me. "They can kiss too?" I whispered, his scent alone sending chills up my spine.