Think with my head, not that thing in my chest

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"Earth to Breelan." Kirsten waved her hand in front of me. I had gone to her house after fleeing Lisa's and told her what had happened.

"Huh?" I looked over at her snapping out of my trance.

"I asked if you wanted to stay for dinner."

"No, I'm not really hungry."

"You're never really hungry." She frowned. "I could kill Chris." She muttered.

"I'm going to get home." I sighed. "Thanks for listening to me."

"That's what I'm here for. I love you. Are you sure I cannot convince you to stay for dinner? Nate's working late. It's just me."

"No, I'm miserable company."

"I don't mind." She smiled. "Come on. Have a glass of wine. We can even skip dinner and just have the wine."

I debated for a second before giving in with a smile, "Ok."

"Yay!" She clapped her hands together.

20 minutes later we were on the couch with our wine watching old episodes of Beverly Hills 90210.

"I can't believe he went to New York!" I moaned. "I was stupid enough to go see him and to want to give him another chance!"

"Oh we're talking about this again?" Kirsten shifted on the couch setting her wine glass down on the coffee table.

"I should call him and tell him just how low he is. No! I should drive to New York and tell him to his face. His stupid handsome face." I grabbed a throw pillow and buried my face in it.

"This isn't healthy Breelan. You need to find a good guy around here. There are plenty. Zach is an amazing guy and he's crazy about you."

"But I don't love Zach. I love Chris."



When I got home from Kirsten's house later that evening I took a long hot bath, cleaned up the house a little bit and finally got in bed. I checked my phone and noticed I had a missed call and voicemail from Chris. My heart skipped a beat as I pulled it up.

"Uhh...Hey Angel, I mean Bree. It's Me. It's Chris. I'm sorry for last night. I'm sure the last thing you wanted was me showing up and screaming that I love you at the Moon. You've made it clear that you've moved on." He cleared his throat, "I'm going to do my best to respect your wishes. I do though, love you. I'm in New York for a few days. OK....so I really just wanted to apologize. Ok Bye."

I sat down on my bed not knowing what to think. So I clicked my phone off, turned off the lights and went to bed.

Saturday morning I decided to go for a run since it was one of the first nice weekends we had had lately. Pulling open my front door I froze. Standing in front of me preparing to knock was Zach.

"Hey." I smiled, "What are you doing here?"

"Kind of wanted to see if you wanted to get some breakfast." He said with a shy smile, "But looks like you're on your way out."

"I was just going for a run."

"Want company?" He wanted to know.

"Sure." I remembered what Kirsten had said about Zach. And maybe she was right. Chris was giving me whiplash going back and forth. Maybe I should stop ignoring all the red flags and warnings going off that Chris would break my heart again.

After a run Zach took me out for breakfast. I enjoyed myself, but my mind was only on Chris.

"And you're somewhere else entirely." Zach paused his story with a grin. "What's on your mind?"

"Oh, it's nothing." I laughed waving it off, "I'm sorry. Please continue."

"I know it's not nothing. It's Chris, right?"

I shrugged but then nodded.

"Have you talked to him?"

"Not in a couple days. I don't know that he knows what he wants."

"What do you want?" Zach asked.

I didn't say anything.

"You should call him." Zach encouraged me.

"He kind of broke my heart."

"Call him."


An hour later I sat at my kitchen table with my phone in front of me. Before I could change my mind I found Chris's name in my contacts and hit send.

"Breelan." His voice made me smile.

"Hi." I bit my lip. "Is this a bad time? I could call you back-"

"It's not a bad time." He chuckled. "How are you?"

"I'm ok. How are you?"

"Better now."

I smiled, "I got your voicemail the other night. I actually stopped by your mom's before I knew you were in New York."

"I know mom told me."

"Oh."

"What are you doing right now?" He wanted to know.

"Nothing, about to shower, I just went for a run. Well not just-"

"You're rambling." Chris laughed.

"Sorry." I nervously chewed my lip.

"Come to New York."

"I'm sorry?"

"Come to New York. I'll be here till Monday morning. I want to see you."

"I can't."

"Please." I could practically see his lower lip sticking out and I thought how nice it would be to sink my teeth in to it.

"Really? You want me to come to New York."

"I'd come to Boston if I were able to. I have a thing. I'll send you my hotel information."

"I don't know....."

"Don't over think it. I'm hanging up. I'll see you in a little while. I love you."

And before I could respond he was gone.

Ignoring the sirens in my head telling me it was a bad idea I jumped up with a grin to grab my suitcase. I was going to New York!

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