Always.

Chapter 4

      The next day I had to wake up early for work. What Jah told me was still floating around in my mind. He's here to make me kill myself. It doesn't make sense. None of it makes sense at all.

     I worked at an office for a small company, Get Right or Get Bite. It was a weird ass name for a company in my opinion but I can't be one to judge about anything if I'm seeing dead people.

       I sat in my cubicle typing away on my computer, ordering new supplies for the office. My co-worker, Jen walked into my cubicle and gave me a huge smile.

       I looked up at her. "What is it Jen?" I sighed, just wanting to get back to my work and not have to deal with any of her shenanigans.

       She leaned in and lowered her voice so that only I can hear her. "Shroom party tonight at my place. There'll be sitters and shit so we'll be good. Starts at 8. You're invited." With that being said she leaned back and walked out.

       I haven't been to one of her little parties in so long. She's always inviting me and I appreciate the thought but I don't know.. I guess there was always something about her that rubbed me in the wrong way. Maybe the fact that she's always getting fucked up off of alcohol and psychedelics. Like is she depressed or something? Because no one needs to be high as much as she gets high.

        Hm.. Maybe I'll go though. Maybe I'll go and get fucked up or whatever. I mean I'm already obviously going crazy or I have a brain tumor or some shit so if I go tonight at least I'll have a reason to be hearing and seeing shit.

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       I gave Jah a big hug before he ran out on stage. The crowd was cheering. He invited me to one of his shows.

      I was so fucking happy bro. So fucking happy. Seeing him perform. Being back in his life. Him being in mine. It was good for me. He was good for me.

     At the same time I couldn't help but feel a little bit guilty though. I couldn't help but feel guilty because I got to experience the good part of him. I wasn't always around. People that are actually in his life or were in his life experienced the bad him. The immature angry him, the him who made everyone's life around him hell.

      Me? I only experienced a little bit of hell from him compared to what he's been through because of me. Aiden getting shot, and making him run away to Atlanta with me. I sighed and tried to shake away the thoughts. He was doing better. And he was on stage. I should just enjoy what I have in front of me.

      Him. I have him in front of me. I smiled.
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      He brushed my hair behind my ear with his fingers. I sat on my chair with my back up against it. Jah leaned on my desk in front of me, blocking my view of my computer.

       His dark eyes stared at me. "We need to talk." He whispered, doing that little head tilt of his.

      I gulped. "Not now. You may not be real but I'm  not gonna entertain this and talk to myself in public." I whispered, casting my eyes to the ground.

      "I thought we already established this. I am real. This is not a dream. I am not a hallucination or whatever." He spoke in a calm demeanor.

      "Not now." I spoke up, looking into his eyes as my voice cracked. He frowned a little and faded away. Good. He's gone..

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       The party started as soon as my shift ended. Jen met me outside with a few other co-workers. After Jen's parties we never speak of it at work or in public. We never mention each other's names and we never take pictures to document any of the parties. Ever.