Heart Race | JJK ff ✔

chapter 28: confession (2)

Hi :))))) i'm Ness and i'm sorry for the slow updates

Even though I wanted to cover my ears not to listen to him but I forced myself to sit and listen to every word he had to say.

".....but ........... i-instead of confessing how much I liked her, I lied to her........ I deceived her..... i-i broke her trust ......and at the end, I lost her"

He paused.

'i-is he ........ talking about me ?'

I listened to him carefully, my heart beating like never before, shocked and surprised, I didn't know if I should be relieved that he wasn't talking about another girl or be concerned about what and why he's saying this out loud.

''....all because of a stupid bet.......... One day, I asked her to meet me after school and I was so excited ..........too excited that I made it obvious to everyone that I liked her, my friends were making fun of me for being so nerdy, for liking someone that much in a short period of time, 'how come that Jeon Jungkook is nervous ?' or 'you're so easy to fool' I heard these two sentences several times and it made me so mad, I didn't like it, I didn't want to be too stupid to fall in love, that's what I thought, now that I'm saying it, I really was stupid...... for thinking that it's stupid to fall in love, I was wrong and I was unfair with myself ........and the girl, so that day, just before i go see her, I met my friends and they wanted to know where I was going and I told them just the truth, 'I'll see her' and they started teasing me again, they said that I should be careful, that she can easily trick me, that maybe she wasn't serious about me, ..........i lost my mind for a second and I said 'I'm just having fun' ...........it was true, every moment with her was fun and I've never enjoyed someone's company like I enjoyed hers.......... But at that moment, I meant it in a bad way, that I was playing with her"

Just when he said that, the tears I was trying to hold fell. That was the first time I hear it from him, he's admitting it.

"...... then they said 'prove it' .......... I don't have to prove anything to anyone, but I didn't know what happened to me back then....... I said that I'll make her love me..........."

He paused again and let out a shaky sigh. I almost thought that he was about to cry, but he wouldn't........ and even if he does, he won't cry as much as I did, still do, it wouldn't hurt him as much as it hurt me.

" ......when I saw her after that, I hated myself, I lied to my friends but I couldn't lie to myself, I was already in love with her, this girl I met two months ago, I love her.........."

I covered my ears, shut my eyes and cried silently, I didn't care about the other students, I was only thinking of all the memories we made together and all the times he made me laugh, the times he complimented me and when he used to stare at me from across the hallway............ just to........ make me love him.

".......... every time we were alone, I wanted to tell her the truth....... But I couldn't, I didn't want to lose her, I knew she would hate me if she knows it, she would never talk to me again if she knows about it............ only the thought of it scared me.............. weeks later, the coach's assistant came to me and told me to leave her alone, he said that he'll tell her if I don't break up with her, he knew about it, somehow, I tried to explain to him since he was like a big brother to me, I even begged him to help me but he refused to listen to me, he said that I was hurting her, and that if I really love her, I should let her go......and I did........... I broke up our relationship even before it started, I never told her the truth, that I loved her even if I tried not to, that I wanted to fool her but ended up fooling myself......."

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To be continued

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