Chapter 21

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- Joe's POV -

I had every intention of staying at a hotel. I needed a break from everyone. They just didn't seem to realize how angry I was as Caspar. They were too busy trying to force us to get together. Or rather force me. It was rather annoying. I had to stop at the apartment first to pack some clothes and basic things.

I drove up to the apartment, Caspar's car was gone. Thank God. I really didn't want to run into him. I passed his room as I was walking to mine. I stopped and backtracked. Caspar was still immature as always, his camera was set up and I saw it was still on. I didn't want to go in his room, but I hated seeing a camera left on, draining battery.

I walked in and was about to press the 'power' button on the camera to turn it off, when I was a thumbnail of a video of Caspar crying.

Just turn it off Joe. It's none of your business. Just turn it off and leave. My mind told me. My hands had a mind of their own. They pressed the play button.

"Hi my name is Caspar Lee.." The video started and I watched it to the end.

By the same Caspar started crying in the video, I was sobbing. I turned off the camera, and sat in the living room. Just thinking. So Caspar didn't have any feelings for Marcus? And he did care about me. I had just been stupid and jealous. 


Caspar was home, and at first he didn't believe I was actually there. When he was finally convinced, I told him we needed to talk.

"Should we talk here or?" Caspar said, I could see his eyes glimmering with hope. This time I knew I wouldn't let him down.

"Sure here is fine." I said, nearvously playing with my thumbs.

"So I kind of um. Saw your video." I said, biting onto my lip.

"Video? What do you-" Caspar suddenly realized what video I was talking about. His lips curved into an embarrassed smile, as his face turned pink. 

"I'm sorry Caspar," I whispered, "I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for not being honest with my feelings so many times. I love you Caspar. I love you. And I know we may have our ups and downs, but in the end my thoughts always come back to you. The one I want to be with most is always you." 

"Joe." Caspar said, looking down into my eyes, "Joe." He repeated.

"Caspar." I said, smiling up at him.

Say it, please say it Caspar. Please say you still love me. I mentally sent him the message.

"Joeeeee," He whimpered again, and wrapped his arms tighter around me.

"Casssspaaarrr." I resonded, still sending him mental messages. Say you love me. Please Caspar, I need to hear you say it. Please.

"I missed you." He said, patting my back.

Oh no. He still hasn't said it. Did he.. not love me? Shit-

"I love you Joe." I heard him say finally. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"You should tell Zoe. She's worried sick." Caspar said suddenly.

"Wait. So are we like, I don't know like, dating again?" I asked, as I pulled out my phone trying to act casual. When in reality I was freaking out inside, praying I didn't make things super awkward.

"Joe you know I love you," I didn't like where this was heading, "But every time we date things go wrong. I was hoping we could remain friends and work our way into more. If that's okay." 

My face flushed, I was so embarrassed, "Of course, Caspar that's fine."

"Thanks, Joe. You should call Zoe now." Caspar said, smiling at me once more. My heart melted.

"N-no problem. And yeah." I said, dialing Zoe's number and calling her. I made my way back to my room.

She picked up on the first ring.

"JOE? JOE! Are you at the hotel already? How are you? Caspar came looking for your earlier. How long are you staying there? Are you going to be alright-" Zoe started rambling. 

"I'm fine, and I'm at the apartment with Caspar. We made up, and we're... friends... again." I said, overwhelmed at Zoe's questions.

"Only friends?" She asked, a hint of sadness touched her voice.

"Yeah," I said, awkwardly.

"Come on Joe. Please just go out again," It occured to me that Zoe thought we were just friends because I didn't want to be more, "I mean, Caspar really does feel horrible. And it's obvious you both love each other-"

"Zoe. Caspar was the one who wanted to stay just friends." 

"WHATTTT?!" She sounded completely shocked, "But, he's.. he's so in love with you!" 

I repeated to her what Caspar had said to me, "Ohhhh," She said, "I understand now. He thinks something might happen if you get back together to quickly again. And he wants to mend the relationship completely because he truly cares about you Joe. So he wants to start as friends fresh so that you wouldn't get hurt." 

I was a bit confused at what she was saying, but I slightly understood. 

"JOEEE! You hungry!" I heard Caspar call from the kitchen.

"I'm not really hungry for anything you're making, Caspar." I teased, but I still came out into the kitchen.

"Aw, Joe. That really hurt." Caspar said, but he wrore a huge grin.

"Whatchu gonna do about it?" We were already back to normal.

"What are you gonna do about it?" Caspar joked back. We continued to tease each other until Caspar finished the meat that was so beyond burnt that we ended up ordering pizza.

"Joe I've been thinking," Caspar started, and cleared his throat, "I want to take a vacation."

"A vacation? To where?" I tried to remain serious, but the truth was I was extremely excited. 

"Disney world?" He said, staring down at his plate.

"Well alright then. Let's go to Disney." I said, only half joking.

"Really Joe? Reallllly?" He said, his eyes went wide and he started at me, with that childlike innocent look.

"I don't see why not." I said, shrugging.

"Well then let's make a whole family trip out of it and invite other YouTubers! Oh, this is so excittttting!" Caspar cheered.

I felt a small inch of dissapointment. The truth was, I wasn't as excited about going to Disney World as I was at the thought of being on a vacation alone with Caspar. Oh well though, I'll take what I can get.

I couldn't help but smile as I watched Caspar call up our friends, as he jumped on the couch, yelling, "We're going to Dissssney!" If he was any more adorable I think my heart would have stopped beating right then.

Caspar jumped off the couch and hugged me, "I really am so happy we're friends again."

I felt like crying. Not from happiness. But at the fact that we were back to friends. Only friends. But I said, "Me too, Casp. Me too." 

--A.N So I know I said last chapter that I might end this fic soon, and I may or may not? Still deciding to be honest. Also just a warning, I've only been to Disney once and it was many many years ago so if I'm not completely accurate on places or rides at Disney I apologise in advance. 

He Loves Me... Not? || Jaspar Fanfic (Caspar lee x Joe Sugg)Read this story for FREE!