Chapter 18 ~ Mila

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Chapter 18 ― Mila

I wasn’t stupid, I knew Zayn was flirting with me. That smile, the way he looked at me, the things he said to me. I kept telling to myself that the tingling sensation in the pit of my stomach had nothing to do with him, that the way my heart skipped a beat every time he smiled at me could be explained with another totally reasonable explanation, that I didn’t feel like melting when I saw him taking a drag of his cigarette.

Man, he looked sexy when smoking.

“We should go inside before we die frozen here,” I commented when he finished his cigarette and before I decided to smoke another one.

“You’re probably right, I can barely feel my fingers now,” he said with a silly smile and I couldn’t help myself from smiling back. “Plus, all the guys must have finished already.”

I nodded but none of us moved or even tried to step away, we stayed there, face to face looking at each other. The way his eyes kept piercing me gave me goose bumps and my heart was beating so fast. I suddenly remembered that moment in the living room when I saw how he was getting closer and closer to me. I really thought he was going to kiss me and, weirdly, I wanted him to kiss me. Probably, if Harry hadn’t had appeared, I would have left Zayn kiss me. I didn’t know if I was grateful or mad at the curly-haired boy.

I knew we were getting along much better lately but I still knew he had feelings for Alex, he talked about that and I knew those feelings were strong. I had my pride and I didn’t want him to use me just to forget about Alex. It was true that I didn’t gave much importance to relationships and that sometimes I could go pretty fast with someone because I never let my feelings get in the way, I always let things in the physical plane. I could put everything aside and just live the moment, forget about all the rest, but I just couldn’t with Zayn. There was something inside of me stopping me and I was pretty sure it was my pride telling me that I couldn’t let Zayn use me, I could let myself be his rebound.

If Zayn didn’t love Alex the way he did, things probably would be different. But he was still crazy about her and I couldn’t do anything about it, even if I wanted to.

Feeling my chest being oppressed by an imaginary force, I slightly shook my head and started walking towards the house leaving him behind. Nothing was going to happen between Zayn and I —nor even a little fling— if I wasn’t sure he was over Alex, or that he wasn’t using me. I didn’t mean he had to fall for me or something similar, I just didn’t want to be used.

As I made my way into the house, I found a very busy Niall eating the rest of the cupcakes in a corner. I had made many cupcakes for this trip and when we got here, we left a few for later, but it seemed like Niall didn’t understand that it meant for everyone, not only him. Or maybe he understood, that was why he was hiding.

“Niall? What are you doing?” I asked stepping closer and when his blue eyes met mine, I saw panic. Yup, he knew the cupcakes weren’t only for him.

“NIALL!” I heard at the same time he opened his mouth to say something. Panic was replaced by sheer terror and I recognised that voice. It was Moni’s. “I’m gonna kill you, oh you little piece of Irish shit! You can’t eat all the cupcakes!” She kept screaming and she was getting closer.

“Run or prepare to die,” I told him. I was already laughing so hard at his terrified expression, and I laughed even harder when he ran away with the few remaining cupcakes against his chest. That boy was going to die once Moni caught him.

Soon enough, my best friend showed up in the living room at the same time that Zayn did. “Where’s that little leprechaun?” The brunette asked and she had the right to say little because she was older and almost as tall as him and that day she was wearing —impressively— high heels.

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