My Secret Admirer, My Best Friend (Part 1)

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This is dedicated to sleepwalker, Liz. Because she's a big perv *giggles* and she's really funny.  You're a real cool person and I'm glad I met you on here. I'm glad we're able to talk and laugh about silly things and we both love perverted scenes *giggles*.  Seriously though, You're really cool and thank you so much for voting and commenting and for always being so kind and sweet to me. I really appreciate it. 

Picture is Nikolai

Ten things I like most about you:

1.     The way your hair falls over your eyes when you hold your head down 

2.     The way your eyes light up and that beaming smile that spreads across your face when your favorite song comes on.


3.     That thing you do with your fingers when you’re thinking.


4.     That other thing you do when someone pays you a compliment. You know? You touch the side of your neck, you lick your bottom lip and fold it between your teeth for maybe for a second, you smile that beautiful smile of yours and say “thank you” in what I like to call “your shy voice”.


5.     That you’re so head on and even though you’re so young you still know what you want in life already.


6.     You never let what people say get to you, even though it may hurt at first you have a strong head and you always get over it.


7.     Whenever you remember something silly you laugh out loud no matter where you are then get really embarrassed when people look at you weird. I think it’s adorable.


8.     This is a love-hate thing—you’re always taking care of people who I believe take you for granted. You need to look out for yourself also, love. Sometimes you need to be selfish.


9.     You’re very ambitious and you have high hopes for yourself. Take it easy though, I don’t want you to stress yourself out by overachieving. It’s not a crime; I just want you to be healthy.


10.  I like that you’re loveable and you made me fall in love with you by doing nothing except be the wonderful person you are.

The one thing about you that upsets me:

1.     You won’t open your eyes and see who I am.

I smiled and tucked the note in my book bag with the others. That would be a note from my secret admirer. These notes began a week after I came out of the closet two months ago. At first I thought it was a joke because girls never acknowledge my existence when everyone thought I was straight, it was hard to believe that a guy found me attractive.

            I weighed all my possible candidates and no one looked at me admiringly. At first I didn’t suspect that it would be one of my two remaining male friends but then I started paying close attention to Nikolai.  He had become more affectionate towards me and that’s when I developed feelings for him. I was having a bad day and during lunch period I felt like the world was crashing down on me so I ran. People weren’t at all kind to me and my so-called friends were being complete assholes. I ran all the way to the male’s restroom and I felt like I was having a panic attack. I remember feeling like I couldn’t breathe and I wanted to get out.

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