I wanted to scream.
I wanted to lash out.
I wanted to slap him.
I wanted to punch him.
I wanted to shake him until his head sprung up like a jack in the box.
I wanted to let out all the rage and hate and pain that I felt in my 10 years on the run on the man in front of me.
I didn't do any of those.
I just kept sobbing, letting the tears fall and all the pain find it's way out. It was the first time I had... the officially let myself cry. I had bottled up everything for so long, kept all the pain inside, every betrayal, every battle, every shattered hope or dream... all escaped from my vault of emotions through my rapidly falling tears.
I was pulled into a hug that felt all too familiar, and I was quick to wrap my arms around him and sob into his shoulder. It was like I was a little girl.
Why? Why now? Why after fifteen years of fear and worry? Why after being forced to hide away for so long? Why after being forced to become so much different than the little girl that you used to love making happy every time you could outside of the shows?
Why did you disappear for so long?
Why did you leave me?
My head was swimming with pain, years of repressed sadness, anger, hate, pain, and all kinds of emotions boiling over to the surface of my mind. I could barely distinguish my own thoughts from the rampant emotions, my normally calm and quiet mind now a whirlpool of confusion and hurt. My hands balled up the silk outside of Jevil's cape, grinding my teeth as my body started to shake.
I felt the hug tighten around me, a familiar feeling that left a warm feeling in my chest.
"Breathe. You're overwhelmed, just breathe and focus on what you see." His voice was... calmer. More friendly, dropped the echo it had a moment ago, much more... familiar and welcome.
I slowly opened my eyes and forced myself to focus on something, anything to get my mind under control. First, I focused on the room around me. The colors surrounding us were a deep blue and royal purple, covering the walls and floors almost like it was a carnival. The next thing I noticed was a skinny pillar that was floor to ceiling, giving the room the impression it could spin like a carousel. I lowered my eyes to the floor and focused on what I could hear next.
The familiar voice of the Jester who made me so happy no matter what. The way it was when I remembered it, not the distorted one I heard before.
Slowly, my thoughts became clearer, like slowly becoming adjusted to seeing in the dark, my hands loosening their death grip on his cape. Once my sobs had finally died down, I pulled away, keeping my hands on his shoulders to keep him a good distance away.
"Rabbit of hearts—"
"Shut up." My harsh tone was enough to silence him, and I quickly stood up, dusting off my dress.
"Just. Fucking shut up for once. I've heard nothing but you talking for the past who knows how long and I'd prefer for you to fucking shut it." I felt a twang in my heart as I snapped at him, but if there's one thing I learned over time, it's to never give those who attack a second chance.
Especially if they're someone you thought you could trust.
I spun on my heel and quickly made my way for the door, only for Jevil to grab my hand to stop me. A low hiss escaped from my throat as I tried to pull my hand away, only for him to tighten his grip.
"No, YOU listen you fucking psychopath!" He winced visibly at my raised voice, letting go of my hand and taking a step back.
"You have no idea what I've been through! You don't get to just waltz back into my life after I've had to fend for myself for YEARS! I had to fight, damn near MURDER to keep myself alive and out of the dungeon! I had to defend myself for so long, deal with my parents possibly being DEAD, believing you somehow FUCKING DIED WHILE FEELING HORRIBLE BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO GO FUCKING INSANE!" The anger was all that was left after the storm in my head had cleared. Anger and hate.
Anger and hate towards the man who used to make me happier than anyone I knew.
This is why you stay out of the past (Y/N). All it does it hurt you.
Jevil was speechless, and it looked like he was on the verge of tears. I huffed and spun around once more, marching to the cell door. No hand grabbed me this time. No one stopped me. I don't know why that stabbed my heart.
I didn't want him to stop me. I didn't want him to touch me, to look at me, to even have him in my memory.
I felt tears start to fall as I finally reached the open door, breaking into a sprint and making my way into the elevator,
As soon as the door was open, I hit a random button and curled myself up into a corner, silently crying as the elevator made its slow descent to the random floor I had chosen.
I don't care which floor it was. I don't care if it leads me directly into the guards. I don't care if it sends me directly to the fucking king. I don't care what happens to me anymore.
I lost the only hope I ever had that was keeping me going. He was insane, a traitor, a liar, and stabbed me in the back so deep I would never heal.
I growled as my hand brushed the cold gemstone of the necklace around my throat. I grabbed it and tore it off and threw it into the opposite side of the elevator. The last thing I needed was another reminder of all his lies and betrayal.
I heard the ding of the elevator doors open and slowly stood up. I need to get out of here. I turned my head to the doors and my eyes widened to the size of saucers. Standing in front of me were five diamond court soldiers, and all of them recognized me almost instantly.
"It's her! The runaway heir of hearts! Grab her, get her to the dungeon, now!"
WELP LOOKS LIKE MISS READER IS FUCKED HUH?
YOU ARE READING
"I Do Wonder, What Happened To That Jester...?" [A Jevil X Female Reader Story]Fanfiction
(Highest Rank: #3 in #Jevil) Once upon a time, in the world where Darkners resided, there was peace, harmony and laughter. The four kings ruled the kingdom fairly, and the gentle race of these people lived happily amongst each other. Even the shyer...