If you haven't seen Supernatural if i was you you should before you read this because theres alot of spoilers,warning this might be a bit emotional and wrong considering what i've been through so dont judge sit,read and enjoy.                                           

                                                        Balthazar's pov.

''So where do you want to go''?.John asked me and i raised an eyebrow,buddy if i wanted to go anywhere than i just zap myself why wait for someone to take me.

''1940''.I answer smugly and he just rolled his eyes.

''I meant on our date,like movies dinner,hotel hell the backseat of a car''.He said and my turn to rolled my eyes.

''Not to be rude but what the hell are we doing here?''.I asked and he stayed quiet for a bit.

''We are trying to be on a date''.He pointed it out.

''I dont think we should,i mean John you are not gay,you have son's and was married to a beautiful woman''.I murmured and he frowned.

''That's in the past and she's dead''.He said but sounded sad.

''What if she comes back''.I asked and he wince.

''Impossible she's been dead since Sam was six months old''.He spoke sure of himself.

''You were dead,so was Dean and who can forget about Sam when he went down to hell with Lucifer and Michael oh and Bobby and Castiel,my god John you all have been dead at one time or another,so dont tell me its impossible''.I snapped desperately for him to see my point.

''What if she comes back?''.I asked him and he just stared at me.

''Im pretty sure i've want to be with you''.He reasoned with me,yeah nice try buddy.

I grabbed his shoulder and took us back to the past by digging in his memories,to where him,the wife,Dean and baby Sammy were all on the table getting ready to eat breakfast.

John's eyes were teary starring at the table oddly enough he was staring at the two boys and not at the wife,which made me smile a bit.

But it wasn't enough for me,I zap us to another one where Mary and him were having a moment but I saw John's eyes looking towards the door and that's when younger John spoke up,''Mary are you sure Dean and Sammy are ok?''.He had asked an eager Mary.

Who just mumble a bunch of yes and kissed me fool words.

I got nauseated by seeing them kissing and touching everywhere,so I zap us to another episode of John's memories.

Where he's telling Dean to take Sam and go outside.

He went back and saw Mary burning up in the ceiling.I looked up at John's face he had an expression but i didnt know what it was.

Once we zapped me and him up to where Dean and Sam where starting school and John's face showed a different emotion this time,it was love all time simple love and i couldn't help but smile.

Than we zapped us to when John sold his soul for Dean's life once again love,than when he broke out of hell to help Dean once again to kill the yellow eye demon after Dean trade his soul for Sam's life,like father like son,he showed loved on his past self's eyes and himself now.

I zapped us to when Sam was Lucifer beating the crap out of Dean i gotta say i enjoyed that one but than i turn to see John and he was on his knees and looked pained.

He had tears on his eyes and pleading to stop.

''Stop it,just stop what are you trying to prove with these''.He shout in pain.

''That you still love your wife''.I said but i didn't sound very convincing.

''Ok,you got me yes i dont think i care if she comes back,you know why?,Well because if it wasn't for her my boys would've had a nice non hunting life,my boys would've never had to die time after time,my only regrett out of my life was meeting Mary and her family full of hunters,but i could look away if she never intruduce us to a supernatural crap,i love Dean and Sammy,hell even Bobby,Castiel and damn it even Crowley if we never had to suffered how we did to get here,so yes i dont miss Mary and i can care less if she comes back because for once in my life im happy with someone i like,so there you have it i like you maybe even love you,and if i was you i just take it and stop trying to look for excuses on how to keep me away and just accept me!''.John shouted off the top oh his lungs and i was dear god for the first time in so many centuries i was speechless and shock.

''John i~''Got cut off by John's lips on mine and i moaned at the contact.

I truly didn't know how bad i wanted those lips on mine til i had them on mine.

And the fuck if i didn't enjoy it.

But i stop the kiss,i stop the dreaming and pull away from John.

''What if someone said 'i can bring her back',what would you do?''.I asked and he groaned and rubbed his face in a desperate manner.

''I already said no,what else do you need?''.He was shouting once again.

''I can bring her back''.I said and he stared at me.

''What?''.He asked quietly.

''Come on,i can bring her back,all you have to do is ask''.He looked like like i just told him i was pregnant.

''Ok,let's go and see her than''.He said and i drop my smile and just nodded,what did i expect from him to actually love me more than his beloved wife,yeah right.

''Ok''.i whispered and zap us to her.

Feeling like an idiot for pushing to lose the one person who could love me and never leave me..

Im such an idiot!

Ok so i know im suppost to have this on hold but the truth is,im going crazy without doing anything and what better than to throw myself into my stories.So enjoy to those who likes this.

That's My Angel! Manxman.Read this story for FREE!