The cover was made by the awesome @-Sitarday- !!!
Basically what the title says. Rated mature because of some language.
Note: This was inspired by my friend Kylie. Kylie, if you ever read this, please don't murder me for how bad this is.
Me: Ladedadeda, taking a walk around my f*cking epic castle...
Black Ice: FALL! FALL! FALL!
Me: *fall harder than I really need to on the blacktop, possibly having me require a hip surgery*
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And that's all I need to say for this chapter.
But I won't, since I yak on forever. "Quiet Beatle", my arse.
Anyway, onto the thing. You might say, "Hey George, but you're old and your bones barely work anymore! Of course you'd slip on black ice and require hip surgery."
Sure, I understand where you're coming from.
EXCEPT WAIT HOW AM I OLD
Ahem, okay, I'll shut up. Back to the thing.
My bones are not brittle. It's your thought process that is.
Krishna, I've been hanging out with Paul too much lately. (Hey, Paul, you're not getting your $100 cashmere scarf back!)
Anyway, black ice.
Frickin black ice.
Do you realize how much of a struggle it is to wake up in the morning and go out to my car, only to promptly fall on my bum without knowing why until you actually fall? Hell yes, it's a struggle. Especially since my bones are "brittle" and "barely work" (thanks, kids). And the worst thing is I decided to buy a f*cking epic castle (which is f*cking epic in the summer but a pain in the arse during winter)! There's literally so much black ice you could slip on. And if I salt the driveways, though, it just creates like little holey things and it's all just... ugh.
That's where the practice of not even going out of your house comes in. And yes, not even to dust snow off your garden gnomes (thanks, Dhani).
You might say, "Hey, George, I didn't know you're a lazy arse!"
Only in the winter. Because it's a frickin pain in the arse. And that's why I'm writing a book about it (haha, totally not because the publisher is giving me a lifetime supply of jelly babies).
So have fun falling on your bum due to black ice. Hare Krishna, and peace out.
