Not Another High School Love Story

25. Imperfect

It's all my fault, there's no one else to blame. I brought Brent here, I thought it would be safe but it's not. In a perfect world the door would've been locked, but my lock was taken off as punishment months ago. I shouldn't have assumed my dad would be gone so long, it makes sense, he probably rushed home when Ms. Montgomery told him I'd ducked out on her. I've never fucked up so bad in my life, I don't think I've ever been as scared as I am now. My dad stands there staring at us, a dumbfounded expression on his face while he tries to make sense of what he's seeing. I'm paralyzed but Brent's quicker, and he pulls his pants up as he tries to say something, but the blood is too loud in my ears and I can't hear what it is.

My dad hears him just fine though, and his blank expression twists into one of blind rage as he flies forward to grab ahold of Brent. He rips him away from me, throwing him across the room where he collides with my dresser. The lamp sitting on it teeters and falls off, smashing onto the floor next to him. Brent panics when he's grabbed again, but his attempt at fighting back is futile as my dad slams him into the wall and wraps his hands around his neck. It's a one sided struggle that's horrific to watch, and it takes me longer than it should to realize I need to do something.

I scramble out of the bed and run over to them, using every ounce of strength I have to ram into my dad. It's not enough, it doesn't even cause him to flinch, but I'm desperate to stop him. I grab one of his arms and pull, hoping to loosen it enough to give Brent the room he needs to wiggle out of his grasp, but the second I start making progress my dad swings hard, shaking me off and smacking me in the chest. It's a forceful impact that sends me staggering back onto the bed, but it seems to break him from his frenzy as he looks over at me. Maybe it was an accident, he doesn't look entirely sure of what happened, but it distracts him long enough for Brent to break free.

His knees hit the floor and he coughs, holding his throat. Before anything else can happen he leaps to the door, tripping over himself to stand before he runs for the stairs. I can't blame him but I'm still so scared, I don't want him to leave, and without a thought I try to chase after him, calling his name pathetically while he disappears. I want to go after him, and I would, but now that he's gone the angry hands turn on me instead and I feel them on my shoulders. I'm yanked back into the room and forced to face my dad, but the building hatred I've had for a while emerges to eclipse the fear with my rage.

"Why did you do that? Get out!" My voice cracks from screaming so loud, and I push him again. He takes a step back but besides that he's fine. I can't stand it, I can't stand that he gets to hurt Brent but I can't hurt him, so I swing my fist but he just catches me by the wrist. It's all I can do to tear away from him, but somehow I manage before grabbing up the nearest pair of shorts and a shirt.

"What was that? What did I just see?" The way he asks it is strange, like he honestly doesn't know the answer. That, or he's desperately hoping there's some other explanation. He doesn't even sound as angry as I expected, especially since he just tried to strangle Brent, and instead he sounds like he's in pain. This is a man who risked his life for his country, who was divorced by the first woman he ever loved, but having a gay son is apparently the only thing that can hurt him. It makes me want to swing again but I just stay silent, leaving him to fill in the blanks for himself. "Were you about to have sex with him?"

"No." I respond hoarsely, waiting a second so the part of him that's looking for an excuse has time to hope. When it does I hit him where it hurts. "I already had sex with him earlier. Yesterday too, and the day before."

"Goddammit, Jonah, this isn't a game! What is wrong with you?" He looks incredibly unstable, and his hands continue trembling while they ball into fists. Maybe he wants to hurt me too, but he struggles to catch his breath instead as he makes a weird noise and goes to sit on the bed. "I don't understand, when did this happen?"