further on, unguided, with eyes closed.
Until one misstep
granted the sight
of crushing darkness
and hollowed cold.
I stood alone,
in a hole
of my own
I try to
only to sink
and cave into my despair, welcoming it
as a treasured friend. But then
you called for me, with your worried voice in open display.
Despite the burden we each had to bare together,
I climb out, and wonder why I hadn't grabbed your hand sooner.
Then and Now
From a robin egg blue tube dress as if painted on my skin
to a fluffy black and white, cotton pajama set.
From hovering upon the ground in black, 4 inch platform pumps
to snuggling my toes in warm leopard, fuzzy slippers.
From line shots and wining my body to a feverish heat
to tucking kiddies to bed, relishing my deserved down time.
From standing 'neath blazing sparklers in the night sky overhead
to bedding my Chromebook watching Asian dramas.
From coming home the next morning, ripe with sweat and alcohol
to squealing over my favorite One True Pairing.
From then to now, I'm the same book but with a different cover,
and to the bone, I embrace the night with bits of fun.
You say that I'm pretty
and how we're made for each other.
I ask what you see exactly,
when all I see are the bold strokes
of madness, without the fly away hair,
eyes that tunnel out everything
within sight for something deemed
much better of my time and a zombie-ful soul.
You answer how you know that too,
but that's only the sum of my parts
I wish to see. Regardless you'll still
love me anyways and with your love
you'll reflect the real me.