When are you going to see this is your family?

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"Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand, what you've been out there searching for forever is in your hands. When you figure out love is all that matters after all, it sure makes everything else seem so small." So Small by Carrie Underwoods

1. When Are You Going To See That This Is Your Family?

It had been a year since Nessie disappeared and all that has kept me going is the fact that I know she is still out there. The Cullens and I have been traveling, searching for her whereabouts. Forks was the only home she knew, so we tried to stay but people were starting to notice that we weren't aging. So we left, leaving my pack, my home was the hardest thing I could do, but it was the only thing that could protect our secret. Bella's sadness never leaves her eyes and its brought a toll to the family. Our number one priority was to find her. 

I was going to school with Carlisle since I wanted to see the town and he offered to help me look around. I still didn't have my own ride, even though the Cullens offered to buy me one, but I refused. The day was depressing, the clouds reminded me of Forks where everything started. Where I fell in love with Bella and hated Edward, but we were forces to become allies so we both could protect her from those that wanted to hurt her. Where Bella finally got married and was pregnant of a leech. I had to stand up to Sam to defend her and the baby. This thought made me smile, the baby, I thought in the moment I stood up to Sam that I was doing it for Bella but no. Now I realize I claimed my right to be Alpha for Nessie. For her I would do anything. The silence was unbearable between me and Carlisle. Every time I looked at him, he was observing me, speculating what I'm thinking and by my expression he knew. 

"Doc, do you believe that Nessie could be found?" I tried to shield the pain in my voice, if it wasn't because I had hope I would have asked Edward to kill me along time ago. Just like he asked me when we thought Bella wasn't going to survive giving birth to what I thought was a life sucking monster.  

"Jacob I know we'll find her. The last thing we need is to lose hope." Carlisle responded. In those golden eyes he seemed to not have lost hopes. But I didn't care as long as I had my wolf I have eternity to look. We return to the silences that turn comfortable as we finally got to school were Edward and Bella were waiting.  

"You know you didn't have to wait for me, I could just follow your stink and find you." I said in a sarcastic voice that let on that I was annoyed. Bella and Edward stayed quiet not responding to me. They seemed not to have lost hope too. We went to the office to get our class schedule. Bella and I have the same first and fourth period classes while Edward and I have sixth period together. I went to homeroom to find Alice there; she saved me a sit since she couldn't see she must have known I was coming. I sat in the sit when she turned around and looked at me. 

"You have gym with Rosalie, so if you ever have to team up with someone, team up with her okay." She said with her high pitched voice. 

"Gym was the only thing I was looking forward in this stupid school Alice. Thanks for clearing that up." I said under my breath. Alice just turned around and smiled to her self. The Cullens are not as bad as I let on, I am very grateful that they put up with me this year, since I haven't been mentality healthy. I would go out for days looking for Nessie and return not only empty handed but to a worried Esme and a scolding Dad on the phone. Bella has been trying hard to be reasonable with the whole Nessie-being-missing deal, but sometime she just feels like joining me every time I make one of my trips. The good thing about this is that homeroom went by fast and then the bell rung and I was heading to meet Bella for first period. I felt the wandering eyes as the other classmate stared at me like I was a freak show. Everywhere I went eyes where on me and when I look back they look away. It made me laugh that sometimes I forget that this humans don't know what I am.  

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