Sanity Breaking

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"Shit!" That was my first word as I was sucked from one time and plopped into another.

The actual fuck.

My world spun around me and my vision narrowed. Black dots swarmed in from all around me as my vision further tunneled and my world twisted in on itself. I reached out my hands in a panic and felt the side of the wagon.

My fingers desperately curled along the edges, my nails chipping into the wood, as I hulled half my body over the side and my stomach emptied itself.

My stomach pressed deeply into the wood, further hampering the situation. I heard a low whistle and felt the wagon suddenly jolt to a stop.

What had just happened?

I squeezed my eyes shut as the world continued to twist and turn. I saw myself die. Right there on the river bank. So that means I'm dead.

Dead. As in, not living.

My heart dropped at the realization and ice seemed to shoot through my veins.

Dead.

The word kept bouncing between the bony walls of my skull without ever actually penetrating my dull brain.

Hands swept around my face and pulled my hair away from my face, "Miss?"

My brow scrunched in momentary confusion as I wondered where and who I was with. My timelines seemed to be slipping from my grasp. I was losing my mind.

I was fucking crazy!

That was the only explanation.

I was certifiably nuts.

Fuck me!

I had to be in a coma or something, or maybe this was the afterlife.

I pushed his hands away and slowly eased myself back into my seat. I shot small glances around me. We were currently on a dirt road surrounded by nothing but tress. They reached overhead of us, filtering the sun and creating a disco-like effect on the occupants below it. My eyes landed on the dark ones of Oliver.

Was this hell? Heaven? Purgatory?

Fucking flipping hell. Whatever it was, I was sick and tired of it. I was done with the whole thing.

I jumped from the wagon.

I briefly registered the surprised look on Oliver's face as I swayed on my feet and reached out to steady myself with Plato.

My thoughts swirled and spiraled as I tried to put all the pieces together in a way that made sense. My eyes darted back and forth as I thought about the weird flashbacks.

There was that one where I was at the bottom of the lake, trapped, unable to get to the surface. Then there was the one that I just had: where I died on the bank. Not to mention the weird conversation I had on the edge of that cliff with that mysterious and unworldly-looking girl. And I couldn't forget about the flour guy, he played some part in the whole mess.

My brain spun trying to connect the dots, trying to make sense out of nonsense.

"Ahh!" I pulled at the ends of my hair and unbidden tears of frustration started to streak down my cheeks. I couldn't take the bullshit anymore.

"Miss, I think it best if you calm down." I hadn't realized but I had been pacing back and forth on the side of the small dirt road. I must look demented.

"I think it best if we turn around." He dropped down from the wagon and slowly approached me as if I was a caged animal that must be handled delicately. His hands were outstretched and his dark eyes scanned me warily, cautiously.

"No, I don't wanna fucking turn around." Tears burned in the corners of my eyes as I unsuccessfully attempted to tame them.

"I'm dead and this is all a lie." I turned away from him towards the forest and pressed my fingertips to my temples as I squeezed my eyes shut. Reality had escaped me long ago and now I felt demented, driven to the brink of insanity.

I lost myself in this world, in this time. So much had happened and at first it was easy to roll with the punches of life but somewhere along the way I had become serious, almost solemn in my character.

I let out a humorless, manic laugh and whipped around to Oliver.

His brows were pinched together and his dark eyes were filled with confusion.

"You're not real!" I pointed an accusing finger at him, "How do I get out of here?" I looked up and around me as if expecting to find an exit sign. Of course, I was only meet with the tops of the trees that hung over us and then the blue sky peaking out from behind it.

The loneliness of the situation settled on my shoulders and for some inexplicable reason I found that I wanted Theodore. He was a jerk, but the playfulness and competitiveness that we shared was what was keeping me sane.

Humor has and will always be my best defense, and I found that our constant back and forth flow of shit talk and pranks was what had kept me going. A small smile tweaked the corners of my lips. It didn't make sense that he had thrown me from the house.

My mind flashed back to the moment he had stood before me, unmoving in his disposition as he told me that I had to go. And Lady Harringson, the cherry on top of my nightmare, she had been hanging onto his arm. She had won. Her cruel smile still imprinted in my minds eye.

I crouched to the ground as the weight of everything seemed to push down on me.

I was alone, truly alone.

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