Bittersweet Love

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I let out a big breath as I take in all 'the fine as hell' men that are surrounding us. Mimi had somehow managed to get us fake ID's, because honestly what college student doesn't have one.

"This place... it's... it's packed." I yell to Mimi over the blaring music. I can hardly hear myself think let alone talk to another person. How does anyone socialize in a place like this?

"I know... I honestly didn't think it would be this crazy." She yells back. There are people all over, and I'm afraid that if I let go of her hand I might get lost in the crowd. By the time we get to the bar, I want to drink a whole bottle of liquor. Between the amount of people in here, and the amount of walking and pushing we did to get up here, I'm sweating horribly. Mimi looks to me as if to ask me what I want and I tell the young, handsome bartender a lemon drop martini.

He gets us our drinks in no time, and Mimi leads us to a table. I sit down the moment I get the chance. Clearly, clubs aren't my scene.

"This place is awesome Jenna and check out all the eye candy. I've eye-fucked at least ten of them." She says to me, batting her eyelashes at eye-fuck number eleven.

"I'm not out to find anyone Mimi, I'm here to be your wing-woman and have a good time. That's it." I can't help but feel the depressive tone, seeping into my voice. Yes, I would be lying if I said I still wasn't suffering from missing Rex every day. I miss his touch, his kisses, and his smell. I miss being together. I hate seeing couples together because I know that could've been us. Even being here, around all these men, looking and watching them it feels like a form of cheating. It's like my heart still beats for him; like it still belongs to him.

"I know you're not here to find anyone, but just because you're not looking doesn't mean someone can't find you." Mimi's words still ring in my ears long after she walks away making her way out to the dance floor. I take small sips of my drink not wanting to get drunk really, but at the same token not caring.

Just as I'm about to get up to go to the bathroom a 'hot as hell' man comes sauntering up to the table. His head is held high, he's wearing relaxed fitted jeans, and dark shirt, with a leather jacket. Just as the light from the strobes shine onto to his face, I gasp backing up into the booth. He is the last man I want to see right now.

"Jenna." His voice is deep and honeyed just as I remember it. There are no hard feelings between us now, but it doesn't mean that being around him doesn't remind me of my ex. Hell, that's his twin it's like looking at a clone of him.

"Ryder." I say hesitant. It's impossible not to have some type of affect when he talks to you. His voice makes you want to melt into him, to give into every single demand he has, and he's a very demanding man.

"Long time no see beautiful." I find myself leaning into him, but pull away immediately afraid he may have noticed. He's right, long time no see. It's been four months since I last talked to him. I tried my best to ignore him but he slowly got under my skin and we created this friendship that was easy going. He knew what it was like to be me, and that was it.

"Don't call me beautiful, and sorry I've been busy. I didn't even know you were living in this area." I was shocked by the courage in my voice. Since Rex, I've been able to speak my mind and talk for myself more. Instead of being Mimi's shadow I create my own.

A smile creeps onto his face, tingles go down my spine. The kind I use to get when Rex smiled at me. Yup, there's still an effect there.

"But you are beautiful so I'm just speaking the truth. As for why I'm here, I'm sure you already know that. As you know where Rex goes I go. So now, I will grant you with my wonderful presence." Great. The arrogance oozes from him reminding me of why I use to consider him an asshole.

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