August 19, 2012

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  • Dedicated to Those who understand in some way.

                                                                                                   August 19, 2012

Dear Diary,

        It's officially the end of summer vacation.

I am not a bit thrilled. I am freaking out on the inside and look like a mess on the outside. I don't know why I am bawling. Maybe I'm just a weak girl.

This past summer . . well the expectations I had for it to happen are not so. This past summer was something I didn't imagine or hope for. I never wanted it to end, I wanted it to repeat itself so I don't have to go back to reality and to the smell of erasers and paper. Can't I spend the whole night watching re-runs of old episodes, movies, and reading non-stop except for my summer reading list?

Clearly not, though there might have been some crystal lining. I got to sleep in till noon, play games till I'm bored and even the morbid action of me wanting to be alone and in my room.

This summer doesn't make my best ones. Reality is kicking in. All I have is two more years left of high school, of being a kid instead of an "adult" and soon old enough to do what ever the hell I want.

Am I tired? Always.

Am I happy? It's half.

Am I scared? Without a doubt.



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