Chapter 11

In the morning, I got ready to go to the gym and train with my four teammates. We all took the bus to the gym and started to train hours on hours with our coaches and trainers yelling at us. Unlike most days, today, Niall wasn't in my head while training. Today, I erased him from memory to keep me focused on my training and routines. Today was by far my best training, and my coaches have said so too. Erasing Niall from my head was a good way to keep me determined. But I kept feeling like in some way, I was messing up my routine. 

I jumped onto the beam and started my routine by doing a front aerial. "Did I do that wrong?" I asked my coach.

"No, That was perfect!" My coach said in his Italian accent. 

I felt confused today and that I was missing something. But I reminded myself to keep focused and stay on track. 

By the end of the day, I was sweating terribly. It was 9pm and Dani, Ashton, Kayley, Jenny, and I took the bus home.

"So you and Niall are a thing?" Ashton asked, sitting next to me on the bus.

"We were never a thing." I snapped. 

She raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure?"

I hesitantly said, "I'm sure." 

 "I don't think you're sure."

I narrowed my eyes at her, "And why not?" 

"Because whenever he was mentioned, your eyes glistened."

"Does that mean anything?" I curiously said.

She giggled, "It means you love him."

I stared off in space. Today was the day I was supposed to forget about him! Why does he keep entering my mind? I got butterflies even thinking about him. I knew we were more than friends, but I had to change that. And that's the reason I pulled away from him last night. 


After our ice baths at the apartment, I went onto YouTube and searched, 'Niall Horan' in the searchbar. The first thing that came up was ' Niall Horan singing "Baby" by Justin Bieber' I watched it. Was this really Niall?! He looked so young! He voice was still that angelic voice I remembering hearing. When the rap came, he was completely carfree. He rapped crazily waving his arms everywhere and just enjoying the moment. I laughed at him rapping because he was just so cute! 

The next video was his audition. Watching the audition, my jaw dropped at this cocky, confident little teenager. 'Damn you Katy Perry' I thought when she was about to say no. The way he nervously ran his hand through his hair when Katy was talking to him, reminded me of the many times he did it infront of me. He looked on the edge of crying, like he was humiliated or embarassed when Katy was doubting him. The way he smiled when Simon complimented him gave me butterflies, as he shrugged off Katy's comments. The way he blessed himself when Simon said 'Yes' made my heart race. When Katy said Yes, I genuinely felt happy for Niall. He jumped a few feet high it seemed, like he was defying gravity. I fell in love with Niall all over again. I tried to stop myself from watching other videos, but I couldn't resist.

The 'laugh' video reminded me of the many times he laughed that loud belly laugh infront of me. It made me feel comfortable and welcome when he laughed like that. I loved his laugh. He made me giggle a few times since his laugh was the contagious kind. 

I saw a side of Niall I have never seen before, when I saw the video, "Niall | Im just trying to unwind" video. I laughed hysterically till it was a silent laugh at this video. It made me blush as his sexy side came out. He was completely carefree, and I loved that about him.

˚˚The Next Day˚˚

I agreed to hang out with Niall today during my 2-hour break. It was noon, when the break came. I was going to meet Niall at Westfield. He was performing with Liam today, and I promised that I'd see Niall perform one day. I drove a bus to Westfield and he was already set up to perform on a small stage. After  singing What Makes You Beautiful, I joined the crowd watching them perform. Niall turned to Liam and whispered something. Liam nodded and got up to put two microphones on stands.

They both stood up as Niall said into the mic, "I'm going to change things up a bit and I'm going to sing Little Bird by Ed Sheeran."

Niall sang most of the song, with Liam joining in the chorus. My heart stopped when Niall stared at me singing, 

but if i kiss you,

will your mouth read this truth

darling how i miss you,

strawberrys taste how lips do,

and it's not complete yet,

mustn't get our feet wet,

cause that leads to regret,

diving in too soon.

and i'll owe it all to you,

my little bird. little bird.

He looked at me with sincerity. His eyes staring into mine. His eyes didn't move from me. It seemed as if he was apologing. His beautiful voice formed butterflies in my stomach. Oh how I got lost in eyes. His eyes were linked to his heart somehow, and if you stare at them deep enough you can see and read his every emotion. He was feeling love, sorrow, attachment, passion, affection, sentiment, weakness, and devotion. I wanted so bad to jump on stage and have a passionate kiss with him, but I felt back the urge.

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