Lets start off with a little story, my first time. Well, no not that first time, but my first time experience the erotic. For me it happened a long long time ago eighth grade I think, and it wasn’t even me that discovered it but a friend. So torrents existed even that long ago (something like nine or ten years ago no) and innocently enough I had a friend that wanted to download a Southpark episode, he downloaded and burned it onto a CD (which I still have today).
What I can say though, it most certainly was NOT Southpark. Now see, this may spark my origins and slight obsession with writing and reading (and consequently watching) BDSM. But that clip the “Southpark” we downloaded was in fact Episode 2 of Night Shift Nurses. A Bondage hentai focused around a hospital. I guess the idea of the hentai was that some elder doctor was trying to train women (the nurses) into becoming sex clients for visitors at the hospital – an underground thing. He got women to work for him by finding their weakness and exploiting it with non-consensual intercourse and bondage.
A few examples: One girl was held in high regard with her parents, so he tied her up, screwed up (in anime style aka twenty different positions in montage style) urinated in her then with her spread out and defeated on the ground took pictures as blackmail “if she ever told anyone.” Another had a sickly brother in the hospital and he used the brother as leverage, even going as far as humiliating her in front of him and threatening “if you don’t do as I say I’ll turn my wrath on him too.” Another secretly liked BDSM and he used her against herself, tricking her into thinking that the doctor and his methods were her only way and pleasure. There were more girls, but that’s the general premise.
Lets just say this episode of “Southpark” turned me down a dark path from the very start, eventually downloading the entire series, some of the scenes from that anime influenced some of the scenes in my book, I can’t deny that. The hentai obsessed over the enema and several times the use of eggs – there were also plenty of ropes and often injury though never fatal. There was also an unusual amount of use of medical tools for devious means. But I will say one thing I didn’t like of the show, it involved skat—which I think is disgusting, I never understood why almost every episode had to end with some girl shitting everywhere normally parts I skipped cause eww, just eww – and I would never go that far in my own writing either. The jello scene in my book was one thing, but that I feel is so much cleaner and better than what the show had to offer. Just, no.
But with the CD, it went from one friend to another then to me and I ended up being the last to see it and thus the one who ended up keeping the CD. It’s sad that even now, 9 years later, I can still open the drawer next to my computer and find that CD. No, I don’t have the actual show on my computer anymore nor do I watch it anymore but it’s still there a memory of my “first time”. Entirely by accident, hell I didn’t know that stuff existed before then. So whoever was that person that posted up Night Shift Nurses as “Southpark” well done, I’m sure I wasn’t the only kid to come across that download.
** this is in response to a question, you got one? Don't be afraid to ask!
In other news I was asked how to make a hot scene without going out of Wattpad’s limits. Now, I knew I was off the charts and it was only the matter of time before it was taken down, but I’ve read more than enough novels on Wattpad that are within the boundaries and here is what I have to say.
As long as your novel isn’t exclusively erotica (majority or all) a rated R book will be left alone as rated R. This means if you have a full novel with maybe 1 or 2 sex scenes who cares? Mine had too many, that was the first strike. Second as long as it isn’t to gory (strike two for me) or doesn’t have rape, incitement to racism, or other very serious concepts who cares. And third you have to watch out for the filters, there are many trigger words that will force the chapter to be private. Nickname everything and don’t drop the F-bomb more than 1 or 2 times (not at all if possible) try not to cuss – I feel it just annoys people. Okay once you got that down what about material?
Use lots of words, try not to use the same word to describe something more than one or two times in the entire scene if you describe the girls parts as say her “tunnel” don’t keep saying tunnel, it’s boring say other things, passage, canal, crevice, slit, opening, channel, hotspot, snatcher --- I don’t know, give nicknames, be creative, the more words the better and change the words depending on where it is in the description, you wouldn’t want to say “slit” if something is deep inside maybe say womb or canyon or black hole something that sounds “deep” but on the on the surface maybe try something more shallow, slit, crack, opening, wetlands – get creative. The same thing goes for the man parts and the woman’s upper half.
But don’t stop there with your descriptions, don’t want to describe the girls hair with the same word, the guy’s chest, her legs or rear, pretty much this “use different words” strategy should go with everything in a book. Hell, use different words to describe something in a room, an outdoor scene, a contraption they are using don’t call a metal rod a metal rod 100 times, change it around the poll, stick, rod, bar, iron, ect.
Once you got descriptions down I’d suggest taking it slow. Unless the idea is to “jump into it” most couples are hesitant, especially if it’s a first time for both. They don’t know what to do, things may be awkward until one “jumps the gun” maybe with a kiss or a stray hand. Maybe pull away, hesitation is this really the right thing? Then after some more awkward moments screw it – and have one just jump in for the kill – going all in. Then things may be rough, quick, you know, want to get it started before someone backs down.
Cloths may get thrown things may fall over then it happens – describe everything, don’t stick on the couple you want other things too remind us of the room they are in, what is around them. Maybe the carpet against their back, the walk sticking to her rear, the sheets wrapped around his feet—maybe a lamp falls over, she reaches for the dresser to get something, maybe a condom, and instead flips a book off the table as he goes in, not caring too much for her. Maybe there are sounds around them; the dog barking in the other room a car honking on the street, maybe a radio is turned on music is flowing softly by. Maybe a just eaten dinner can be smelled downstairs—maybe rich chocolate fills the air, leftovers from when they were eating it with strawberries.
Don’t forget their surroundings, but don’t concentrate on them either. You want the main focus to be on the couple, spending most words to describe them, but always add in a few lines every paragraph about the world around them and what’s going on “he pushes her up against the wall, twisting his feet in the sheets, now nearly off the top of the best and licks up the side of her neck tasting the remainder of the chocolate fallen dried there from their earlier encounter.” Just with that you can feel her shoulders against the wall, probably cool, his feet wrapped in the sheets, maybe tight and warm, and you can feel her neck taste the chocolate, see how the couple is situated – see how I kept majority of the senses in one sentence? The five senses are your friend.
To sum it up, change up your words, don’t overkill what’s going on, don’t put in too many scenes, and don’t forget the world around them and the five senses. Want a killer scene – follow the instructions and you’ll be in for a treat.
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Inside the Mind of a MaleNon-Fiction
This journal was created to explore and reveal what I as a guy think - this will often follow along with my stories/novels, but doesn't always have to do so. Please be warned, I will NOT be leaving anything out. You'll never know what you'd expect...