I laid on my back, fingers intertwined with Harry's in between our bodies. His thumb caressing over my thumb, his knee bent into the air and his other arm wrapped over his forehead as he stared at the roof, looking at nothing in particular. I laid with one leg over the other, my other hand on my stomach and I stared at nothing.
We came right home after the airport and we had just laid here. I think after all the tension and negativity that happened in the last two days, it was still weighing on us and just laying here, enjoying the feeling of each other seemed to wear it off slowly. There was no need to speak considering our actions did most of it for us.
I'm selfish for not forgiving Harry over any of his actions yesterday. I couldn't look in his eyes and be content with the idea he was half to blame that the porno was still on the screen and forgave him for it. I wouldn't forgive myself either, I should have been more careful.
I still look back at both Anthony's and Jacqueline's faces full of such disappointment. Jac was sure I would get the job, she had such high hopes for me and she taught me so much and I feel horrible because it was all a waste for her. And it's embarrassing for the brand considering that the brand came to me and asked me for the interview. I continually kick myself every day for it, I failed.
And to think I blurted out my whole life's story into Harry's face then literally tell him to fuck himself didn't make me feel any better about the situation. I was flooded with guilt after that. I didn't mean for any of it to come across as horrible, it just did and I couldn't find a way to control it. Having the pit in my stomach already made it worst when I decided to keep myself hid away in my room, locked away from any source of food or liquids or even Harry.
Today was just horrible too. It was a horrifically beautiful mess actually. Lost a good amount of saved up money on that plane back home, nearly lost myself when I decided to leave and I almost lost my Harry. I almost left this place leaving Harry to rot alone in this quiet apartment. I saw Harry's raw emotion spill out yesterday in front of me and I ignored it wiping it from his cheeks and walking away from him. It killed to see him so ruined by me. I could painfully see he didn't want me to leave and I fucking did. I walked right out.
It shocked me when I saw him again. Breathless lungs and red eyes staring into mine when he grabbed me at the airport. He held me so tight while he spoke and it felt amazing. It felt endearing to hear him call me his home as I did him and it answered everything for me. It made me cry listening to him speak about us and how his feelings were so strong for me. I had not a clue about everything he said to me and I couldn't leave him after all that.
Especially when he said he was...falling in love with me. With me. A degenerate girl who doesn't deserve care, entertainment and love such like Harry's. He deserves someone who is more compatible with him than I but if he really felt as if we could work, I guess we could try it couldn't hurt. Though he was correct, there was some sort of connection between us. It was amazing to see how much he listened to me, I giggle every time at how he knew how particular my coffee is.
I smile warmly to myself, gently squeezing at his hand. I feel this could work.
He must notice the sudden change in my muscles and I see him turn to me in the corner of my eye. He turns right over to his inside, still holding onto my hand facing me completely. 'You alright?' he hums, lifting my hand with his to his mouth slightly kissing at my knuckles gently. I look over to him, his tired eyes looking back into mine. I couldn't imagine how horrid they looked yesterday.
'Yeah' I mumble, gently smiling. 'Just thinking.'
'Penny for your thoughts?' he was quiet, in my quiet room, in the quiet apartment. I let my legs drop under the covers and I turn to look at him, faces just centimetres apart from each other. I could feel his warm breath on the tip of my nose.
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Sexaholic Roommate // h.sFanfiction
Anna was just your typical young-adult girl who had dreams to accomplish. She reached her Diploma and was offered a job to be the head Make-Up Artist in a high-end fashion and cosmetics brand... aka her dream. Harry was just your typical young-adult...