I ran my hand along my hipbone, wanting to scream. The image in the mirror before me, made me sick. It horrified me. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath, not thin enough. I evaluated myself one last time, my fingers dancing around every inch of my skin.
“Av, what are you doing?” a husky voice asked. I turned to see my best friend standing in my doorway, a puzzled and concerned look spread across his face.
I covered up my body, immediately feeling insecure, shouting, “Harry! I’m practically naked!”
“Sorry! It’s not like I haven’t seen that before!” he threw his hands up defensively, walking into the hallway, leaving me to put on my outfit for the night. I followed behind him once I was dressed and welcomed him with a hug. My parents and brothers were away and I’d much rather spend today with Harry.
“I didn’t mean to yell,” I chuckled, pulling away and staring into his abnormally large, worried eyes, “What’s the matter?”
Harry let out a puff of air and turned his head away from mine, “Nothing, happy birthday.”
I smiled, remembering I was finally nineteen. His arms were still around my waist, giving me a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. I felt like leaning in to kiss him, curious to what it would be like, if he felt the same way.
His lips parted slightly and he snapped his hands back to his sides, “Come on, let’s head out.”
“Harry, come up!” I slurred, clutching his wrist and stomping up to my bedroom. Harry mimicked my movements, laughing, his hands wandering around my body. I opened my door and led him towards the mattress and lifting up the covers, before slipping my clothes off.
Harry stood at the edge of the bed, licking his lips seductively, “Avery, I need to tell you something.”
“Okay, go ahead,” I replied, sitting up.
He pushed me down onto the sheets, hovering over me, the stench of alcohol from our long night of partying lingering on his breath, “I think I love you, and I know you feel the same way.”
My heart skipped a beat and I struggled to find the words to respond, “Harry, I—“
He interrupted me with a rough kiss, his lips pressing against my jaw and neck, his hands squeezing my breasts. I shut my eyes and let everything happen, thinking over all of the possibilities. Harry was so impulsive when he was drunk, maybe he didn’t want this for the same reasons I did.
Harry was still on top of me, examining my every feature, making me immediately uncomfortable. His shaky fingers dancing across my bare skin, sending shivers down my spine. He unclasped my bra and threw it to the floor, causing me to involuntarily cover myself with my arms.
“Don’t do that,” he whispered in my ear with a chuckle, moving my hands down to my sides. I reached for the button on his jeans and pull them down, leaving both of us in only our underwear.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I mumbled into his chest.
He nodded and took off the garments separating us from each other, “I’m sure.”
“So do you remember what happened last night?” Avery asked, her hands wrapped around her coffee mug, avoiding my stare. We were both confused and a little shaken up; in shock we had done what we did. After nearly six years of friendship, neither of us had expected this to happen, even though I’m pretty sure we both wanted it to. Her brother, my management and other factors had been making me keep my feelings inside and finally everything was out in the open.
I nodded and chewed on my bottom lip anxiously, “You know I meant what I said, right?”
She raised her eyebrows and glared, “You do not love me, Harry.”
“Well, I have feelings for you; very strong feelings,” I chuckled nervously, inching closer to her, being cautious not to cross any lines.
Avery inhaled sharply, her gorgeous hazel orbs darting all around the room. She squeezed her eyes closed and exhaled, “I do too, but…“
“But what?” I almost yelled, “We had sex last night, Avery!”
She shook her head in protest, “We were drunk!”
I smirked out how flustered we both were, bickering like we did when we were kids. She let out a little laugh, lowering her head towards the ground, letting her hair fall around her face. I leaned in, pressing my lips against hers, snaking my arms around her waist. I pulled away abruptly, startled at how thin she was, “Uh, is there something we need to talk about?”
“No?” she responded, a little irritated I ended the kiss.
She was so frail, it looked like she had lost at least ten pounds, and she was always tiny. Avery bit her lip, “Stop looking at me like that!”
I scratched my forehead and turned away, urging myself to say what I wanted to. For weeks, she’s been acting different, “Are you—“
“Harry! You have a studio session!” she interrupted me and grabbed my keys off the countertop, pushing out of the house. The front door slammed behind me and I looked up at the sky, frustrated that she would keep anything from me, her best friend; something’s up.
I hope you liked it! Please let me know what you think! xx
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An eating disorder is an addiction, and no matter how hard you try to liberate yourself from it, it stays. There is no escaping it. Having my best friend, Harry, by my side pushed me to be a better person, to get healthy. For years, my little crus...