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Pen Your Pride

                                      4 MONTHS LATER.

          Four months. Four months had gone by since I left. I hadn’t heard anything from him. I have yet to bring myself to say his name for I had no idea what it would do to me emotionally.  I don’t have contact with him. Who knew where he was or what he was doing. Not one single text, phone call, or email was shared between us. Who knew if he even had the same phone number? I didn’t want to find out. But then again I did. He needed to know what was going on with me. He deserved to know, even if he wasn’t a part of my life anymore. I even considered calling him, telling him, and then hanging up. Gosh, I’m such a little kid. Honestly, why can’t I grow up and face the fact that he wants nothing to do with me?

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss him. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care. Of course, I lied to everyone else, but deep down I knew how I really felt. I’m sure they knew it as well, but they just want to believe it as badly as I do. But between you and me, the truth was, oddly enough, I did miss him and I did in fact, care. But I’m sure he’s moved on by now. As I should too but for some reason, I can’t bring myself to forget the person that I had fallen madly in love with, just to watch it all crumble in a heap at my feet.

-------------------------------------------                                                                                       Austin’s P.O.V.

          I am so stupid. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t beat myself up. Why did I let her leave? I could’ve run after her. Could’ve tried to stop her in some way. But I didn’t. Why? I didn’t think she was serious! And honestly, I really have no idea why she even left. We’ve been through so much together and for her to just pack up and leave now didn’t make sense to me.

          Sure, I could be a jerk at times. But it was never to her. I loved her too much to hurt her on purpose. And trust me, when I did hurt her in some way, I did anything and everything I could to get her to smile again. Gosh I loved her smile. It could light up the world. It lit up mine that is for sure. But now that she’s gone, my world is a dark, lonely place. I don’t know where I am, and I don’t know where I’m going. All I can hope for is that a light will show up at the end of the tunnel that I’m trapped in and with any luck at all, that light will be Brookelle.

          But sitting here, hoping that she will just show up out of the blue is too much of me to ask for. Because I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I needed to see her and I needed to see her soon. It’s been four months too long and I haven’t talked to her since the day she left. I didn’t know if she wanted to. I figured that when she left, she didn’t want to speak to me again. Plus, she probably found a new guy by now. One that makes her happier than I ever could.

          Obviously, I missed her. I wasn’t the same without her. The walls in this house hold thousands of memories of us that could never be replaced. They mock me every day. At least they have a part of her. The only thing that I have left of her is a picture of the two of us that rests on the bedside table. I stare at that picture every night until my eyelids get heavy and I can’t stay awake a moment longer.

          I’ve argued with myself every night for the past four months whether or not it’s okay to sleep on her side of the bed. Part of me yells at me for even thinking that thought, but the other side urges me too, because maybe, just maybe, her scent still lingers there.

          I sigh and slowly scoot over to her side of the bed. It’s cold and it has the atmosphere of being unwanted that I can’t help but cringe at its touch. I gingerly lay my head on her pillow, breathing in deep. If I concentrated hard enough, I could still smell her apple shampoo. Or maybe that’s my imagination. Either way, I wasn’t going to question it.

I'm Over You, Austin MahoneRead this story for FREE!