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Pen Your Pride

We shared some food in my hospital room and a couple hours later, Harry and Nathan had to leave for school.

"We'll be back after school." Nathan smiled and Harry agreed. They both waved and I returned the gesture as they left the room. I opened up the bottle of pills and threw one to the back of my mouth, grabbing my water to wash it down. After 20 minutes or so I began to feel better, so I plugged in my headphones and closed my eyes, managing to drift off to the slow music.

As my light blue eyes fluttered open, I felt sleepier and disorientated. I turned my head to the side with a sigh and looked at my phone for the time. It was 1pm, the boys would be back in a couple of hours. I let my eyes move around, scanning the ceiling as I layed back. I breathed in and out deeply as I tried to feel stronger, my weak arms shaking slightly. As I breathed in and out, I noticed I could also hear breathing that was not my own. I narrowed my eyebrow as I pushed myself up to see who was in the room.

'This can't be happening.' I thought to myself as I layed my eyes upon the figure in the corner of the room on the chair, the same one I found my father in.

"Hi Niall.." was the quiet greeting coming from the person.

'Why are you here? What do you want? How did you know I was here? Get out!' I thought inside my head, praying that sooner or later, the words would finally come out.

"Don't go mental at me, I know I've been awful to you. I just needed to see you--"

"You haven't been awful to me, how could you have been?! I haven't seen you for 6 fucking years, Mum!" I squeaked, interrupting the woman I once called 'mummy'.

"Nialler baby, watch your language."

"No! You don't have the right to tell me that anymore. You think after 6 years you can start acting like a perfect mother? Think again. I had to stay here and grow up with this fucking monster of a father, all because you couldn't cope with me. And I wasn't exactly a lot of trouble, I was 10 when you dumped me on dad!" I sat up further, anger brewing inside me.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay..." she said quietly, seemingly upset.

"No, mum. I'm not. Everything went to shit when you left, you know that? I stopped singing, I've been bullied for the last 4 years, dad started drinking every night, I don't have a family anymore, I have hardly any friends and now I'm having questions about my own fucking sexuality! So don't think you can just come wandering in out of the blue and make everything okay! You can't undo everything that's happened." I felt my face burning up as I stared at her.

"You stopped singing?" she looked heartbroken, totally ignoring everything else I had said.

"I did. Not that it matters to you anymore. I bet you can't even remember my singing voice." I shook my head, pulling my eyes away from hers.

"You really think that?" her voice cracked. "Call my phone."

"Why?"

"Just do it." she demanded and I reached for my phone, dialling in the number I'd had for her, saved from years ago. I hit call and a few seconds later, a tone played on her phone. It was 'So Sick' by Neyo. It was me performing it.

"Nice gesture, you feel bad for abandoning your son so you set him as your ringtone." I rolled my eyes. "Besides, I don't even sound like that anymore. My voice is deeper." I shook my head, still not looking at her.

"I'd love to hear your voice again some time--"

"Oh, piss off." I snapped, instantly regretting it as her face went pale.

Torn... (Niam Fanfic.)Read this story for FREE!