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Pen Your Pride

~Ryan's POV~

"Let us down!" Patrick yelled, trying to squirm out of the net, I sighed and smoked my cigarette, reclining against the side of the net.

"Chill, I got it covered." I pulled out my lighter again, flicked the flame on and held it to the ropes. "We'll be out of here in no time."

"Where did they get a net?" Patrick said, stopping with his flailing.

"Fucked if I know, they're ritch and bored, Rikki bought a tiger cub for Christ sakes, just to say she did, she named him Ryan Jr. and he lives in the zoo." Patrick raised his eyebrows and I shrugged. "True story."

"Does she name a lot of things after you?"

"Yes, and Bam, she has a catbox scraper named Novak. Man she hates Novak." I chuckled and shut my lighter. "Hang on." I said, grabbing the top of the net and throwing my weight downward, the rope breaking.

"Now I don't know about you Chicago, But I'm ready for revenge." Patrik picked himself up off the ground and dusted himself off, looking at me with a blank expression.

"Seriously? We didn't even provoke them and they put us in a net for three hours, and you want to make them mad?" I nodded.

"Yeah man, I live for this shit. Jackass, remember?" I flashed a toothy grin and ran back to the house, Patrick following behind me.

"What are we doing?" I held up a finger to hush him before kicking in the door to Johnny and Tay's room, the two of them sitting bolt upright.

"CONDOM POLICE! ARE YOU USING PROTECTION!?" I screamed, running around the room as Patrick made siren noises at the top of his lungs.

"We were sleeping you asshole!" Johnny shouted, Tay chucking the alarm clock at Patrick.

"Come along Chicago, we must go get revenge on Bass Boy." I said, walking off to Pete's room and kicking in the door before jumping onto the bed and screaming in his ear, Patrick yelling at him to get up because they were being robbed, Pete rolling out of Rikki's bed and into the floor, looking around wildly.

"You bastards." He grumbled, obviously too tired to react violently. 

"Now for the best part, come on." I smirked and walked downstairs, pausing outside of Bam's room before kicking the door open, tearing my clothes off and screaming: "THREESOME!" diving on top of Bam.

"Ow, dude, really?" Bam questioned, looking at me, Patrick by the door laughing, and Rikki still sleeping.

"Yes, really."

"Are you fucking naked?"

"Yep."

"Get your little dick off of me." Bam grunted and shoved me off before shirking his blankets, kissing Rikki's forehead and punching Patrick on the arm as he walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge.

"Here's your pants." Patrick said, throwing me my pants with his eyes clamped shut. I got dressed and left the room, Bam on the couch and glaring at us.

" You guys suck." He grumbled, staring blankly into the television and drinking a beer which I took and downed with one gulp.

"Dude!"

"Mama's orders, no beer for Bam-Bam past twelve." Bam glared at me, his room, then sighed.

"Fine." He grumbled, sitting on the couch and watching some old sci-fi film with horrible graphics in his boxers.

"That's hot, if only the fangirls could see you now." I smirked, bam glaring at me more.

"It's three in the morning you fucker, I'm not hot all the time." I smirked and jumped into his lap.

"Of course you are Snookums!" Bam groaned and stuck his hand out, squishing my face. "Fine, I see how it is." Bam groaned and shoved me into the floor for the second time tonight.

"Can you two go to bed? If I'm gonna be awake- oh and now she's awake, we're all fucked." Bam leaned against the counter, Rikki tapping her foot impatiently.

"You. In my bed. Now." She demanded, pointing at Bam who sleepily smiled and walked to bed, sticking his tongue out at us. "You two. Ryan, I'd never have a threesome with you, It'd be like screwing my brother. Patrick, if you help him again, I'll personally tattoo a heartagram over your Johnson. Or I'll let pete give you a bartskull so you match him instead of Bam, you got me?"

"Yes ma'am." Patrick muttered, looking at his stomach then going upstairs.

"Okay Mamma. I mean Rikki." I grumbled, collecting myself from the floor and heading upstairs, grabbing Patrick by the pants and shirt collar and dropping him in the floor.

"Yowch!"

"My bed. you sleep in the floor."

"Fuck that." I glanced down at him and smirked.

"I didn't know Chicago cursed."

"Move the fuck over, if I get a tatto from a woman with a purple mohawk, I'm kicking your ass." I raised up my arms in defeat and went downstairs, there was no way I was sharing a bed with a dude.

~Bam's POV~

"Bam. Bam-Bam. Bammo. Bam. MOTHER FUCKER GET YOUR ASS UP!' I sat up, Rikki dressed for the day and frowning at me.

"What? it's eight!"

"Yeah, and you have a freaking doctor's appointment  because of your fucked up ass." I whined and rolled out of bed, not too thrilled about showing my infected brand to a stranger.

"Can't I just skip it?"

"Okay, looks like I have to pull that card. No sex until you fix your ass."

"Unfair! Fine, I'll go." I grumbled, getting dressed and stuffing my hair under a hat. "FYI, I said I'd go, I didn't say I'd dress nice."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"That was the worst ten minutes of my life." I muttered, throwing the car keys in a bowl by the door.

"Hey! What'd they say about your muffed up butt?" Patrick yelled from the living room, Pete and Ryan sitting beside him, none of them wearing clothes over their boxers. never one to be left out, Rikki shrugged and stepped out of her jeans and took off her shirt, standing around in her underpants and a tank top.

"Rikki-"

"What, you said I had to wear clothes. These are clothes Bam." I sighed and joined the others in their near nudity before answering Patrick.

"He said her had no idea why I would do such a thing, and saying it was for a movie made him think I was gay." Pete stifled a laugh and I nodded to Ryan, who elbowed him in the crotch.

"Just because we have a tattoo in the same location does not mean you get to mock me- Rikki, why the hell do you have Joe's name on your ankle?" I asked, rikki looking down and shrugging.

"I bet him I could beat him in a race around the house with butter on our feet."

"And?"

"And I lost, Bam." I laughed and gave her a hug before shaking my head.

"What am I supposed to do with you?"

"Love me, hug me and buy me shit?"

"Cool with me." we all laughed at the strangeness that was hanging around in our underpants, then Ryan raised his hand.

"Yes Ryan?" I asked, Ryan smiling, pumping his fist and speaking.

"Can I get in on the Love me, Hug me, Buy me shit? I need tires on the limo." I nodded at Pete, who smiled and elbowed Ryan in the nuts. "Okay, so, No?"

~~It's a bit of a filler chappie, but I promise more fun shit is to come, I'm currently deciding on ba- nevermind, spoilers. ;)~~

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