I woke up to the sound of Charlotte's voice and the feel of her hands gentley shaking my shoulders.
"Abbie you need to do something it will take your mind of things and also you need some food" she said sweetly.
"Really because i don't think anything is going to take this off my mind" I replied frowning.
Abbie and Max both weren't copeing very well without each other. This had really destroyed them and they were so upset. They both hadn't stopped crying for ages, I'm surprised they have any tears left in there bodies!
*Back to my POV*
Before i could settle back down Charlotte dragged me up out of bed. She pulled me down the stairs. I got into the living room. There were the other girls Meg, Emi and Sommer sitting on the sofa. I really didn't feel like talking to anyone but they had came to see me so i had to make the effort.
"Hey" they all said sounding happy unlike me.
"Hey" i said back rubbing my eyes.
They stayed and all chatted to me for a while as they wanted to see me. 2 hours later they went home including Charlotte as she thought she should go and check on the boys and her house.
I took Elvis for a walk as fresh air would be good for me. As we were coming back down the road near to the house a couple with a pushchair and toodler walked past me. I smiled at them. Suddenly tears came bursting out my eyes and down my face covering my soft skin. All i wanted now was Max's arms around me and his hands wipeing away my tears, but i had pushed him away because i was so stupid.
I walked through the door and slouched down on the sofa still crying my heart out. Charlotte rang to see whether i was alright. I knew i wasn't copeing very well with this at all.
Suddenly the door opened and Max walked in looking exhasted. I jumped up and walked over to him.
"I'm so sorry" I said looking him straight in the eye.
"I'm sorry to" he replied looking at me.
There were a few seconds were everything was still like the world had froze. Then Max moved over to Elvis and gave him some fuss. I stood there watching speechless just staring at them.
"Charlotte told me you weren't copeing very well" Max said still looking at Elvis and giving him attention.
"No i'm not" I told him just wanting a hug.
"Well the thing is i'm not either" he said lifting his head up to face me, still stroking the dog.
"I guessed that when you left the house yesterday" i replied calmly.
"I have came to collect some clean clothes as i'm going back to Tom's and Charlotte's" he commented.
"I need you here Max" i said truthfully.
"You weren't acting like that yesterday" he replied sounding annoyed.
"I have already said i'm sorry!" I cryed begging him to stay.
"Ok i will stay but please smile!" he said walking up to me and making my mouth into a smile shape.
I was so happy i was back in his company. I had missed it so much! I never want to let him go again. But the fact that i could of killed the baby was still haunting me. I didn't think that thought was going to go away until i told him.
I went to bed happy Max was back. I slept in the bed while he slept on the sofa as our relationship wasn't exactly perfect. The whloe night i tossed and turned thinking about whether to tell him about my thoughts. I didn't want to ruin or destroy it anymore than i had done. But if i didn't tell him it would kill me.
Why did it have to happen to us?? I was so excited and so proud. And then it got taken away from me, snapped up from my fingers. It hadn't just made us really sad and pulled on our heart strings, it had destroyed our relationship. I hope we can fix this.