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Pen Your Pride

Chapter 28: Hold on. - Zayn's p.o.v.

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I woke up on our bed fully clothed and with another hangover. What the fuck did I end up doing last night? I don't remember exactly what I had said but I remember fighting with Alicia, and pushing her. Something that thinking about it now made me sick to my stomach and made me feel like slapping myself. She left last night, I didn't know exactly where she'd gone but I'm fairly sure that she probably ended up Marie and Liam's.

I groaned as I got up and looked for my phone, hoping that there was going to be a missed call or text from her. There was one text from her.

"I'll call you when I'm ready to talk" well fuck.

I totally get the fact that she doesn't want to talk to me, I just hope she does want to talk soon....

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*Two days later*

I hadn't heard from Alicia in two days now, this was complete shit. I was a fucking idiot.

The thing I realized is that I just can't drink anymore, it's not worth all the problems that it causes me. Special occasions maybe a little bit, but to just go out and get drunk I was done. And I was extremely ready to talk to Alicia, I didn't know how much longer I could wait for her to make the first move I was going insane. I didn't want to contact her directly so I decided that a tweet was probably the best thing right now.

"@zaynmalik: Not talking is killing me. At least give me a chance to talk?" I laid on the bed and waited, that's all I've been doing for forty eight hours is wait. I must of fallen asleep because next thing I realized was my phone started ringing, I gasped as I recognized the ringtone and hurried to answer it.

"Babe?!" I said a little breathless.

"Hey" she replied, her voice quite and gentle. It made me feel better and worse at the same time....

"Are you alright?" I asked, my voice coming out a little strangled over the lump in my throat.

"We'll talk about that. I'll be over to the house in an hour. Can you get the boys to leave? I really think it should just be us." she said.

"Yeah no problem. I'll see you in an hour." I agreed anxiously.

"Bye" she said before hanging up.

"I love you" I said, even knowing that she had hung up. I took a deep breath and got out of the bed, walking into the bathroom. I hadn't really left the house or done much these last two days, I hadn't even bothered to shave so I had some nice scruff growing in. I jumped in the shower but didn't bother to shave, I kinda liked the scruff sometimes. Then I cleaned up the bedroom and downstairs a little before kicking the boys out for a bit.

Not even five minutes after they all left, I heard the front door open. I got up from the couch where I had been flipping through the tv channels and hurried to the door, the sight of her once again made me feel better and worse at the same time. All I really wanted to do was hold her and tell her just how sorry I was and never let her go but I don't think she was going to go with that at this moment so I'd just have to wait.

"Hi" she said with a small smile.

"Hey" I said, nervously running a hand through my hair.

"That's some nice facial hair you've got going there" she said with a small laugh, I ran my hand along the side of my face feeling the prickles and not knowing really what to say.

"I could really go for some tea, so how about we go into the kitchen and I'll make us some?" she suggested

"That sounds good" this formal conversation was just weird.... it reminded me of when she came over to visit everyone when we were broken up and we talked like this all the time.

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