So how do dragon's have sex? I like never understood that shit. Do they have hidden dicks in their stomachs that like pop out? Well, i geuss that's a pretty smart place to put them. I mean, if they were just saggin while the dragon's flying, an archer could just shoot that. Ouch. I got sacked one time, but i cant imagine being shot in the balls. That'd suck.
Besides dragon balls, not much has been going through my mind. Wait, no i didnt mean it like that! Oh screw it, its not like anyone's ever gunna read this. Who'd wanna read the diary of a 14 elf kid? Some old perv probably. Maybe my village elder. I saw that creep staring at my tent. I think he was using magic to look at my underwear. The fuck? I hate that i have to spend all day with him. I know im learning magic, but i don't think it's worth it.
Well, other than creepy old men and dragon sex.... Oh ya! A human girl came into my village today. Real wierd girl. I don't know what she wants, but she started asking me stuff about some magic crystal. How the fuck should i know? Humans all think that since I'm an elf i must be 'wise' and 'fair'. Well fuck the police, I'm not gunna be a little queer. Oh, the girl. So i told her i didn't know where the crystal was, but that she was free to see my magic staff. She didn't like that.