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Pen Your Pride

I couldn't sleep. All I was thinking about was Andrew . The thought of not waking up in his arms for a whole week was really starting to bother me. Andrew would stay over at least 3 times a week and now I have to spend this whole week without him. I loved it when he would open his arms just so that I could roll over and lay my head on his chest. When he would smell my hair and play with it all night. And right when I was falling asleep he would whisper sweet words that were so soothing. With that thought I felt a ache in my heart. All I could think about was the good times me and Andrew spent together. I did,t think I would miss him this much. Epically when it's only been three hours since he left. I've spent time apart from him before, why do I wish he was here so much?

I managed to get only three hours of sleep last night. I can't find anything to do because without Andrew nothing interest me. Should I call him? He's probably busy anyways, doing last minute things for his sisters wedding.

After a whole day of internal debating I finally decide to call Andrew. I just want to hear his voice even for a few seconds. Right when I pick up my cell it rings. I couldn't help but get excited thinking its him. I had changed all my ringtones yesterday so I don't know who's calling exactly.

"hello"

"hey em"

"hey Andrew..I was just about to call you and.."

"no it,s me rob" huh? Rob? I haven't talked to him since the party. I was so upset that night. He didn't even try to apologize to me, nor did he notice how upset I was. Me and robs relationship really changed, I mean he doesn't even talk to me anymore.

"oh umm..hey rob"

"whats up...how you been?" . He hasn't talked to me for so long and now he wants to know how I've been?

" what do you want?"

"..I want to know how you're doing"

" what ??you've disappeared In my life ,and you haven't talked to me for weeks....you even ..forget it..no you were a dick to me at the party and you didn't even care about how I felt. You still havent called and now you want to know how I'm doing?". I was soo angry. I couldn't let him keep walking over me. Last time he did this he made me think he liked me. But all he was doing was playing games and I'm tired of it.

"I'm sorry Em ,I'm sorry about the party and what I said,I wasn't thinking right. I know we haven't talked in so long but ..I ...I can't stop thinking about you..I miss you Em. I miss how we used to do everything with each other.and I guess the saying you don't know what you have until it's gone is true..not being around you for so long has really made me realize how much you mean to me..I....I wanna see you Em."

I froze.robert has never sounded so genuine and sincere to me. He also had a glint of something else behind his voice. Sadness. My heart tugged at the sound. I hated how he had this effect on me. As much as I wanted to say yes..I had to say no.

"No..no..I don't care." I was so furious

" please.. Em please." I was really begginning to give in.

I hung up. Just one second more would have convinced me. Just then there was a knock on the door. I walked over and opened it and my breath caught in my throat. Robert was at my door. All of a sudden my anger melted. He looked so beautiful yet so sad. All that I wanted to say I forgot.

"Why are you here?"

"please em..I'm sorry...I really am. Can I come in?" I couldn't say no to that beautiful face. Once again I let my guard down.

"yeah" I was so disappointed in myself yet i didn't feel bad.

Rob came in and walked into the living room. I followed, he sat on the couch and I did nothing but sit with him.

"why are you here rob?"

"em I told you ..I want to see you."

"well here I am, what do you want..where's jess?"

"me and Jess broke up" I knew it, he didn't come here for me, he came because he felt lonely and needed someone to talk to.

"well I don't care.. You think you can just use me because your lonely and your girlfriend dumped you..I'm tired of you always using me as last resort ..when you have no one else to talk to .." I was quickly interrupted by the dizziness I felt.

They were so soft and so sweet. It was now that I realized that roberts soft lips were on mine . They were still there and I responded. I was stupid enough to kiss him back but I couldn't resist his sweet lips.

He moved back and looked directly into my eyes. I got lost into them and I couldn't find my way back. I was so far gone that I was at lost for words. I heard a familiar voice calling my name but I couldn't recognize it. I was still thinking about the kiss and how good it was.

" em..em..hello"

"..why did you kissed me"

Robert stared at me for a few minutes and suddenly realization hit him. " oh em.. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I have to go. With that the only thing my blurred vision allowed me to see was the back of him and the door closing.

Hes sorry? How could he do that to me. He just walked in kissed me and left. What does he mean he's sorry. No. Every kiss means something right? That's what I wanted to believe. That rob kissed me for a reason. I thought maybe he finally realized we should be together. But instead he kisses me and leaves. I couldn't control my tears anymore . They all spilled out at once.

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