Ugh-oh, sorry for my English in this chapter, I'm afraid it doesn't exactly forward all my thoughts I originally planned to reach you. But I hope it's not that bad, too :)
Hope you like that.
Even though, we talked a lot in MSN, it was still problematic to socialize at school. Not only because of that blog scandal. I was just too damn cowardly and as it came out in the future, he was, too. But I didn't know it then, so let's skip from here.
Chantal encouraged me all the time to say at least "hey" to him, but .. agh, I don't know. Nonetheless, I was such a coward, I understood very well how stupid it was. I mean, one "hey" is nothing special, right? Although, if you are in love, you understand how hard it is, to make the "first move".
Being more exact - you're next to him, a wave of heat goes through your body, your palms are sweating and if, in addition, you want to say smth, then your voice is shaking or you can't say anything at all. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? That was the problem for me in these two and a half years. No, actually, not that much. One and a half, I guess, because thanks to the things that happened in high school, I got over it. Well, again I'm going to the future. Sorry, I won't do it anymore.
Anyway. The first time I actually said "hey" was planned by me and Chantal the previous evening. How she (Chantal) comes to meet me and we simply go there and I say "hey" as I pass by. It really does sound simply, doesn't it?
Post-factum .. it was fail. I mean, I passed by, straight as a ruler, (he was sitting on the bench with some guys from 7th grade or whatever) and I just told him "hey" without even looking. That's why he actually looked at me like I was an alien, I guess. The others were with WTF-was-that-faces as well. But at least I did that!
Betwixt, we practiced that a bit and we succeeded in the end. It was good in the cloakroom as you just come and do it. And after some time, he learned doing that firstly, too. Depends, who opened one's mouth at first.
The funniest moment was, when we had our esperanto lesson in the new classroom and besides Chantal, there was Dean sitting on the bench. It was weird, 'cause usually I and Jason (or Chantal, if she wasn't somewhere around) were the only people who was there so early - half 8. He, because he lived farther and didn't want to come by bass, and I, 'cause .. oh, okay, admit it - because I knew exactly when he arrives at school and started coming at this time, too.
It does sound strange when I say we never really talked then, right? I actually hoped a lot we will, that's why I came that early. But we never did. We simply sat next to each other. One who is madly in love with the other, and the other who knows that, but keeps silent. Even if you don't count this, we could talk, right? Maybe there was something wrong with us...
Anyway, typical me started worrying what's wrong, why he's not there yet. He was never late nor came to school later. And I haven't heard/seen he was gone on vacation or anything. I say "seen" 'cause instead of being a normal human being and just ask him, I, at first, stalked him on FaceBook or where ever or listened carefully to people's talking when he was telling someone 'bout that (which actually makes me a stalker as he was somewhere in the other side of the classroom). And only after that, when I knew things, I talked about that with him in MSN. Sounds creepy, right?
I sighed silently to myself - don't forget that all my worries and stuff went only through my head and lasted for only a couple of seconds, so no one could actually saw any difference - and sat next to Chantal. There was room for two more people on the bench.
Happily, Jason was there after five minutes, so that storm inside me could peacefully die down, and I could smile brightly and tell him "hey". Moreover, my smile was even more bright as he sat besides us. Okay, he sat next to Dean at first.
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My Nonexistent Love Story/Skinny LoveNon-Fiction
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