Side note: At this time, Allie was far too weak to continue writing her story, and so she handed it over to me, Niall. This is her story- or rather, what's left of it. She was able to write a small portion of this chapter- the last chapter in her life. This sign: 🎶 will indicate it is now her point of view.
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Every day I watched her deteriorate more and, more. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, and yet I made myself stay strong for her. I made myself hold back my own tears as I wiped away hers. She was almost always to tired to talk, so I'd simply sing to her. She'd often fall asleep, but she always looked peaceful, painless. I wondered if that's what she'd look like in death. I try not to let my thoughts wonder towards such depressing things, but how can I help it when the love of my life is fading away in front of my eyes?
~ ~ ~
It was one of the days she'd fallen asleep, and I was singing to her, that I had a sudden idea. It was a crazy idea, considering how rapidly she was getting sick, but I know I had to do it before its too late. I begin planning immediately- calling the boys and our manager, making lists and such. I'd never planned something so big. But I'll do anything for Allie.
~ ~ ~
Two weeks later, on the Saturday of my "big idea", I tell Allie we're going for a little trip.
"But I'm much to tired, Niall. Where are we going?" thankfully, her voice is as strong as ever, which means my plan will work nicely. "Don't worry, love, you'll be alright." I answer her as I load her into the wheelchair. I roll her out to the awaiting limo and gently put her in. We drive for about ten minutes to get to a huge indoor concert hall. Allie looks at me questioningly, but I just smile as we enter the huge building. Inside, we're immediately met by the boys, a make-up artist, the sound engineer, and several other people. Allie, now more confused then ever, struggles to keep hold of my hand as she's whisked away to make-up. Next, her smooth, bald, and beautiful head is fitted with a special microphone. Finally, she's ready to go. I take her aside to explain what's going on.
"Allie, what I've been planning for weeks, and what we're about to begin, is the Love Concert. We're going to raise money for cancer patients everywhere, by using our voices- especially yours. I know it won't help you, but at least it'll do some good, right?" I run my fingers through my hair and continue. "It was hard to plan it on such short notice, but we managed. What do you say, Allena? Will you sing?" she's staring down at the ground as I finish explaining. For a moment, I'm afraid she'll refuse. But then her eyes, filled with love and tears, turn up to me. "Niall, I wouldn't love anything better." I smile and kiss her gently, then roll her out onto the stage. Below us, the crowd is filled to bursting with normal fans and celebrities alike- Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, Ed Sheeran, Demi Lovato, Adele, Justin Beiber, Olly Murs, Cody Simpson, Avril Lavigne, Mandy Moore, Bella Thorne, Cher Lloyd, Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Nicole Kidman, Jason Mraz, Celine Dion, and Josh Grobam- just to name a few. The amount of celebrities who agreed to come amazes me- and clearly awes Allie as she stares out at a crowd of her idols and directioner friends alike. I squeeze her hand and continue rolling her over to my mic stand. I take a deep breath and step up to speak.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we can not thank you more for being here tonight. At this concert, you'll be asked for donations to charities such as Saint Jude Children's Hospital, and other cancer-supporting charities. We also have a very special guest- Allena Cavanaugh! She'll also be performing tonight." 🎶 As he goes on, I lose track of his words and stare in awe at the famous faces smiling up at me from the audience. I try to get ahold of myself as Niall and I begin our concert. First, Niall sings I'm Yours, looking at me the whole time. Next, I sing Only Hope by Mandy Moore. I'm glad to know that Niall picked songs I knew for me to sing. Then, together, we sing All I Ask of You from Phantom of the Opera. Niall then sings Lean On Me. Finally, the boys sing Moments. Niall and I then sing Without You from RENT. I sing You Raise Me Up. Finally, to end the concert, Niall and I sing what is now known around the world as "our song"- Come What May, from Moulin Rouge. But that isn't quite the last song. As everyone else prepares to leave, I calmly roll over to the piano.
"The song I'm about to sing is an original. I worked very hard on it, and I hope you all like it! It's called 'Waiting for You'." Then, I turn and begin to play, and sing:
Across the deep blue ocean/ Beyond the golden horizon/ There's a lovely place where I'll soon be sent/ And that is where I'll be waiting, until the end// chorus// there I'll be waiting for you/ my heart forever aching, our love never breaking/ as I await the day we reunite/ yes someday, I must leave you, here/ but that day is not today/ we've still got the night/ but I promise that sad day will come soon/ the day I'll be waiting/ for you// 2nd verse/ it's alright to shed a few tears on me/ but don't let yourself get lost in pain and misery/ hold on to the day we'll be reunited/ because love can conquer all, even death// repeat chorus// Ending// I'll be calling out your name/ and Come What May/ our hearts will forever sing/ You Raise Me Up to receive my angel wings/ I'll be okay, I promise you/ and Without You, life will continue/ Wipe away the tears, and start over anew/ But love, don't you dare forget, that I'll be/ Waiting/ For You
At the end, I'm met with the most amazing applause I've ever heard. And then, Niall goes to the mic, and says, "I'll wait for you. Until the end of time, through all of this. I'll be waiting. Because I love you." He then turns and kisses me very passionately.
~ ~ ~
I'm crying so hard at the end of the concert, I can barely speak to meet all the celebrities there, along with quite a few directioners. All of them give me genuine smiles, squeeze my hand, hug me tight. It's such a huge dream come true. I try my best to enjoy it, but I'm honestly so tired I can barely speak. Niall, of course, notices, and quickly brings me back to my dressing room, where he gently cleans the make up off my face. Then, we get in the limo and he takes me back to the hospital. I feel more and more tired by the time we get back. I'm so exhausted, my eyes are closing. I feel weak as usual, too. But I still have this amazing joy in me, like... Like I can die peacefully now. That night, Niall kisses me good night. But then, I have to ask him something I've been meaning to for a long time.
"If you could live forever, what would you do?" I ask.
"I wouldn't live forever, I would never want that." he replies.
"Why not? It'd be so amazing."
"Not without you." at his words, look down, a small smile on my face. He gently kisses the top of my head, then leaves. I lay back and drift off to sleep.
~ ~ ~ 🎶
Three weeks later, I'm laying with Allie on her hospital bed. After the concert, she'd gotten so bad so fast, I was scared to death. Now, she could barely keep her eyes open as the sun goes down. I just hold her and stroke her face, her arms. We're watching our favorite movie, A Walk to Remember. I guess it gives us hope, or something. As the end credits role, I get ready to ease out from under her sleeping body, but she stops me.
"You once promised me you'd wait for me- that you loved me." she whispers, her voice now raspy and weak.
"Yes, and I still do- forever and always." I say, filling with sorrow and love.
A tear fell down her cheek. "Well now it's my turn to wait for you." I reach out and wipe away the tear, fighting back my own. Then I slide back onto the bed with her, and I just hold her. She falls asleep, of course. Around midnight, when she has gone oddly still, I slip out from under her. I know she isn't dead yet, but something tells me she's already gone. And I'm strangely at peace with that.
~ ~ ~
The next morning, very early. I get a call from Allie's mom. She's sobbing almost uncontrollably. What she tells me comes as no surprise- but it still tears me apart.
"She's gone, Niall. Allie is gone. She passed around 1 AM last night." I let myself cry freely, realizing that was not long after I left. After I hang up, a walk outside. It had rained last night. I'm not paying much attention- and then I see it. It's a double rainbow, just on the horizon, mixing with the golds of the rising sun. I'm sobbing now as I realize this was her last gift to me, her parting sign. I loved her, and I always will. Forever and always.