Saving Ivy chapter 1-2

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‘’What, ‘’ Josh said, looking at Ivy disgustedly, ‘’ The fuck are you eating?!?’’

‘’Coco crunch. Breakfast for champions. ‘’ Ivy said, shoveling a big spoonful of cereals in her mouth. ‘’It’s full of vitamins and shit.’’

Josh gulped. ‘’ What I mean is, why are you eating cereals with hot sauce and.. what the fuck, is that mustard???’’

Ivy looked at her bowl,chocolate cereals have been mixed with hot sauce and mustard and milk. ‘’ Who cares bro, it tastes good. ‘’

‘’ I wont even attempt to understand you, Ivy, but this has got to stop. It’s been four months since he broke up with you, you have to move on. “ Josh said, using his patented Bitchface.

“ For the love of Goku, it’s 8 am Josh, don’t go Dr. Phil on me, it’s so fucking early, Lions probably haven’t scratched their balls yet.’’ Ivy said, gulping her coffee and scarfing all the food down. “ I’m just trying to eat my breakfast, man. “ 

‘’ That is NOT breakfast, that is a weird concoction of sadness eaten by people who want to die alone! You have to get out and stop moping. Get out! Party! Live again!’’ Josh yelled and started waving his hands dramatically.

“ FINE! You want me to go out? I will! I’m going out right now!’’ Ivy answered and proceeds to take the garbage bag out of the can. “ In fact, I’m gonna take the trash out with me. Seriously, I though gay brothers are supposed to be fun, I get to have a gay brother who’s a psycho. Geez.”

She walked out , dragging the trash with her. And there, Right outside their fence, stood the most handsome guy she’s ever seen.

... And that said handsome guy is now sniffing the Lavenders in her flowerbeds.

“Sup?” Ivy quipped, trying to sound cool. She noticed the moving van on the house in front of theirs, and the ‘FOR SALE’ sign has also been removed. “ So, you’re our new neighbor huh?”

The man looked at her and sniffed the lavenders again. Okay, this guy is creeping her the fuck out.

“Your aura is very orange.” He said, not looking at her. He plucked a sprig of lavender and walked back to his house.

Chapter 2

“My aura is very orange? What the fuck does that mean?!?” she said, glaring at her brother after telling him about the handsome and obviously crazy neighbor.

“ I’m pretty sure he just told you to go fuck yourself in hippie speak.” Josh laughed.

“ Oh, ha ha, very funny gayballs.”

“Hey! My balls are very manly, let me tell ya, these balls together with my amazing penis is the best thing ever to happen to the gay community. I’m even know as the Sex Falcon, kinda like Superman but with my dick. “ Josh said in all seriousness.

“ Oh my god , I did not want to hear that Josh! You’re such a freak!”

“I’m the freak? You’re the one who ate cereal with tabasco and mustard! You’re disguting!”

“Your mother is disgusting.” She said, throwing a pillow at him.

“Uhm, we have the same mother , Dr. Genius. “

“ No, we don’t you’re adopted.”

“You’re face is adopted.” Josh answered, “Bitch.”

“Jerk.” Ivy answered.

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