IFY: Chapter 5- *SEXUAL CONTENT*

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Picture: Blake- but he would have blonde hair


Ryley P.O.V 

I woke up at six thirty pm, after barely sleeping at all- I tossed and turned, rolled over and awkwardly laid there, left to my own thoughts in the quiet neighbourhood I lived in. I fell asleep properly at around four pm, shivering and wishing that Tyler was in the bed with me. Wishing he would hold me from dusk til' dawn, so I could sleep to my hearts content, feeling warm and safe all the while. As cheesy as it sounds, whilst we've been fighting, I don't feel... Whole. I feel like there is a vital part of me that I need to function properly is missing, and it hurts me to need him like this.

I hate wanting him like I do.

There was a knock on my door, followed by the sound of my door opening and closing. Somebody shuffled around, before sitting on my bed and placing a hand on my leg. I knew it was Tyler immediately, I remember all of his features and how they feel on my body. He mumbled to himself a little, before standing up and kissing me on the temple. My heartbeat started running a marathon at the brief contact, and I struggled to prevent from reaching out and latching my hand onto him, dragging him back down to the bed and making him stay with me.

I stayed tensed up the whole time he was in the room, not wanting to give in and let him have me. Hell, he probably doesn't even want me anymore. I don't know what I did, but I must have done something to make him want Lexi more than me. I don't see why he started all of this in the first place if he didn't want me, if there were other people that he wanted to be with. Why put me through it? Does he not see how selfish it was? How much I miss him, yet can't bear to look at him due to the overwhelming pain accompanied by that simple act?

Making somebody fall for him then treating their feelings like they mean nothing to him; the fact I'm his brother adds the pain. I never expected him to hurt me, although he never said it, I just thought it reigned true that we were meant to stay at least friends. But now we can't even be in the same room as each other without there being this highly awkward, unwanted, tense silence. It's like both of us have run out of things to say to one another. Something else I never thought would happen. 

I let out a sigh of relief when I heard his footsteps and the door open and close. I cracked my eyes open, squinting at the bright morning light(Hey, don't judge, it's morning to me! Even if it is coming from a lightbulb under the crack in ther door!) flooding my room. When my sight slowly adjusted, I sat up and stretched out my arms, moaning in pain when I accidentally punched myself in the face. How. Is. That. Even. Possible?!

I didn't feel like getting out of bet, so carefully picked up the remote and switched on TV and watched an episode of family guy, it's genius hilarity distracting me from my overly-depressed life... Just for a little while. It made me cry from laughing, then I stopped abrubtly when I realised I needed to get ready for Blake's stupid party. I don't know why I'm going... I don't want to watch either happy couple being so loved up and happy together. Especially when I want to be with half of one.

I've not seen Lexi and Tyler together yet. I'm hoping tonight isn't going to be a rude awakening, a crude glimpse into what I'm going to be seeing whenever I'm with them both.

I peeled the bed covers off of me, cringing when it unleashed the horrible smell of me not vacating my bed or room since Friday night. I peed in bottles, and only ate whatever sweets I had in my room. I would occasionally get up for certain things; but I haven't seen light properly in ages. Not real light, I saw the artificial light from the light bulb in the hallway, but that's it. I feel even more vampire-like now than ever, which is weird because once I had this phase where I would bite people, and if they were bleeding I would lick their blood... Yeah- you should get the point.... And now I feel more like a vampire.

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